Joe Shlabotnik, Special to the New York Times
Washington, DC
"Tomorrow's the inauguration? Are you sure?" asked Salam Undevary, taxi driver in the nation's capitol. To say that Washington, DC does not have inauguration fever is an understatement. Congressmen have quit trying to give away tickets, and event planners are reworking seating arrangements to avoid the spectacle of thousands of empty chairs.
Danoland's improbable election, the result of a seven-man field and a tenuous electoral coalition that included such disparate states as California, Alaska, and Mississippi, was probably destined to always be controversial. But his strident adherence to liberal doctrine and his insistence on retribution for alleged crimes against the Bush administration has lost him whatever goodwill he had earned.
Making matters worse, Danoland has insisted on a bare-bones inaugural has further alienated himself from Congress and the public.
"With Presidential Power, you either use it or lose it," said Larry Quotemore, political science professor at the University of Virginia. "Yes, our financial system is going down the tubes, but the canceling of a few balls isn't going to suddenly lower the unemployment rate or increase the stock market."
Although civil libertarians are praising the anticipated indictments on President Bush and Vice President Cheney, it has been widely criticized by members of Congress on both sides of the aisle. Cheney's sudden disappearance last Wednesday reflects widespread consensus that the charges will probably result in some sort of conviction, although it is doubtful whether he will actually serve any jail time. But Cheney's conviction is seen as a very high price to pay for the spectacle of the sitting Vice President's being absent from the swearing-in ceremony, a noble, uplifting, and cherished tradition from the time of our magnificent founding fathers.
Danoland's economic stimulus plan is considered to be dead on arrival. He refuses to provide any tax relief. Indeed, he is proposing raising taxes by eliminating the so-called Bush tax decreases, a move that has resulted in open revolt from Blue Dog Democrats. His plan to nationalize banks has also been widely ridiculed. "It's one thing to do it gradually and on the sly, quite another to be open and brazen about it," said one unnamed committee chairman who is remaining anonymous because he wants to, and who am I, a mere reporter, to refuse him?
Surprisingly, the harshest criticism of the Danoland administration has come from the vast left-wing blogosophere. Whatever credit he has received for his positions, he has been vilified for being a drag on Democratic electoral chances in 2010. The list of Democrats who have already announced their retirement from the Senate include Russ Feingold (WI), Ron Wyden (OR), Blanche Lincoln (AR) and Barbara Boxer (CA).
But despite it all, Danoland remains upbeat. "Only 42% think I should be impeached immediately," the one-time obscure blogger said cheerily. "I should be able to stay in office for at least five months, maybe six. We'll be out of Iraq by then, assuming I can get the military to pay any attention to me."
As for taxi driver Salam Undevary, he remains philosophical. "Why the hell are you talking to me? Are you really that lazy. Hey look, there's woman walking down the street. Why don't you talk to her so you can have two sources to your lame-ass story instead of one."