In 2012, the stage will be set for a clash of titans - the unstoppable force meeting the immovable object - a knock-down drag-out battle between the white-backlash social conservatives who give the republican party its votes, and the Wall Street republicans who own, operate, and profit from the party. Their champions: Sarah Palin, for the GOP base, and Bobby Jindal, for the GOP management.
Sarah Palin has the power of stupid people in large numbers. But the GOP management have been manipulating those same stupid people to screw them selves - both economically and politically - for decades without breaking a sweat. Plus, nobody knows anything about their candidate - that's always a plus in Republican politics.
So, to help out our hard-working, long-oppressed brothers in the GOP base, I present: MEET BOBBY JINDAL
First things first, Bobby Jindal is a maverick, at least in the sense of "having viewpoints far from the American mainstream".
He opposes embryonic stem cell research, supports the teaching of intelligent design in public schools - he thinks the Adam's Rib Theory is as solid scientifically as anything else - and of course he's got the mandatory 100% Pro-Life voting record.
As former head of the Louisiana Department of Health, and current governor of Louisiana, he is responsible for Louisiana ranking 50th - dead last - in an annual study by the United Health Foundation. One reason is Louisiana's high rate of infant mortality, which I assume also means a high rate of miscarriages - though I doubt that's of any interest to "pro-life" voters..
Of course, a record as a bad governor is important, but it never did any damage to Bush or Palin. It's just not colorful and media-friendly enough. But have I mentioned that he wrote an article admitting that he participated in a bizarre cult ritual that involved forcibly confining a frantic young woman?
...Maybe she sensed our weariness; whether by plan or coincidence, Susan chose the perfect opportunity to attempt an escape. She suddenly leapt up and ran for the door, despite the many hands holding her down... -Bobby Jindal
Now, Those of you who know what I'm talking about are probably saying "woah, wait a minute, an amature exorcism isn't a bizarre cult ritual". Those of us raised on exorcism movies may think that exorcism is an everyday Catholic thing, but it's not. The Catholic Church does not allow any Dick, Tom or Bobby Jindal to hold a girl down and have a chit-chat with her demons:
Catholic exorcism is still one of the most rigid and organized of all existing exorcism rituals. Solemn exorcisms, according to the Canon law of the church, can be exercised only by an ordained priest (or higher prelate), with the express permission of the local bishop, and only after a careful medical examination to exclude the possibility of mental illness...In the modern era, the Catholic Church rarely authorizes exorcism, approaching would-be cases with the presumption that mental or physical illness is in play...The Roman Catholic Ritual of exorcism approaches the subject with a procedure of presuming of mental or physical illness and employing mental health and medical professionals to rule out physical or mental causes before authorization of the exorcism ritual. - Wikipedia
And there's a reason why:
On August 22, 2003, an autistic eight-year-old boy in Milwaukee was bound in sheets and held down by church members during a prayer service held to exorcise the evil spirits they blamed for his condition. An autopsy found extensive bruising on the back of the child's neck and concluded that he died of asphyxiation. In the past ten years, there have been at least four other exorcism-related deaths in the United States alone, two of the victims children. Then there are several tragic cases like that of Texas mother Andrea Yates, who drowned three of her children in an effort to exorcise the devil from herself in 2001. More recently, a South African couple was arrested for keeping their fifteen-month-old daughter caged, unfed, and tied up because they believed the child was possessed.
Beliefs get very unusual once one rejects psychology and assumes there are demons all over the place, just take a look at demonbuster.com. Is this the sort of stuff bouncing around in Bobby Jindal's head? I don't know, but take a look at this bit from his article:
Though I could find no cause for my chest pains, I was very scared of what was happening to me and Susan. I began to think that the demon would only attack me if I tried to pray or fight back; thus...I gave up all attempts at prayer and admitted conditional defeat - Bobby Jindal
He's willing to surrender to the ultimate embodyment of evil, to save his own skin. He also is willing to negotiate with the ultimate embodyment of evil, without preconditions. My long-oppressed brothers in the base of the Republican Party, do you trust this man to never negotiate with Iran?
My long-oppressed brothers in the base of the Republican Party, who refused to vote for Mitt Romney because of his religious beliefs, would I be going too far to describe Bobby Jindal as 90% George W Bush, with a little splash of Charles Manson?
See also: Bobby Jindal is Bad - Anti-Jindal blog