Okay, maybe your humble Webmaster is jumping the gun a little - Chanukah hasn't even started yet, and here I am reminiscing about some of the best and worst gun-related news items in America over the past year. There was certainly a lot to consider for this year's hall of fame and shame, from record-setting sales of firearms and ammunition nationwide to New York Senator Kirsten Gillibrand's ever-changing stand on gun legislation, but I had to narrow down this year's awards list at some point. Without further exposition on the matter, lock and load this year's Cheap Shots, and enjoy!
Daniel Barnett, Amendment II Democrats
The "It Takes A Nation Of Millions To Hold Us Back" Award
Representative Mike Ross (D-AR) and 64 fellow Democratic signatories on a March 17 letter to Attorney General Eric Holder
When Holder started talking openly of a new Federal ban on semi-automatics, Rep. Ross and 64 of his fellow House Democrats responded with a pledge to oppose any such ban. Not only did it send a message that a growing number of Democrats on the Hill are opposed to renewed attacks on our Second Amendment rights, but it appears to have killed a lot of discussion on Capitol Hill of reinstating the ban. Good job, folks.
The "I Do Not Think It Means What You Think It Means" Award
New Jersey Assemblyman Reed Gusciora (D-Mercer)
Imagine trying to promote a bill to outlaw private ownership of .50-caliber rifles by claiming that it actually protects your Second Amendment rights - provided, of course, that you're an American Revolution reenactor. That's exactly what Gusciora did when promoting A-2116, which would outlaw the aforementioned .50-caliber rifles while exempting caplock and flintlock rifles of similar caliber. One problem with this sales pitch? There's a .75-caliber muzzleloader known as the "Brown Bess" that is popular with battlefield reenactors, but it is illegal to own in New Jersey despite the exemptions in A-2116.
Your humble Webmaster remembers this comic book in which a hopelessly inept barbarian is sailing on a warship and accidentally punches a hole in the hull; as water rushes in, the barbarian declares, "I will make another hole in the boat to let the water out!" I'm seeing the same principle at work in Gusciora's rationale.
The "Road To Nowhere" Award
Representative Bobby Rush (D-IL)
This Congressman introduced HR 45 back in January before Barack Obama was even sworn in as our 44th President. HR 45 was a low-key approach towards enacting a new Federal gun ban, making it illegal to own any handgun or semi-automatic firearm that uses detachable magazines unless one received a permit from the Attorney General that has to be renewed every five years. And where is HR 45 now? In Congressional limbo without a single cosponsor. You see, Congressman Rush, Democrats on the Hill are learning not to buy into such assaults on the Second Amendment. Maybe you should chill out with some vintage Talking Heads instead?
The "Things That Could Have Been Brought To My Attention YESTERDAY" Award
Dr. Robert C. Miller, Former Director of Cook Counseling Center at Virginia Tech
Seung-hui Cho's deadly 2007 rampage at Virginia Tech could have been prevented - not by new and restrictive gun laws, but by consulting Cho's mental health records when he sought to purchase his guns. But the records that could have prevented a massacre remained in the home of Dr. Miller and were never shared with the proper authorities, so they never came up in Cho's background check. And even after the shootings, it took more than two years for those records to see the light of day. The system broke down, and the students at Virginia Tech paid dearly for what appears to be Dr. Miller's pallid incompetence.
The "Rescuing Freedom From The Garbage Dump - Literally" Award
Former Massachusetts State Representative Marie J. Parente (D-Milford)
In an October 21, 2009 column for the Milford Daily News, Parente explained how she rescued an antique, leather-bound copy of The Acts and Resolves of 1779 from a dumpster at the State House. Parente later defeated an attempt to enact new gun-control laws by citing from the unwanted archive of legislative rulings, in which the Acts and Resolves provided tacit approval for private gun ownership in regards to an effort to staff an armed civilian militia for the North River during the Revolution. She argued on the House floor, "Had not the farmers brought their private weapons to the Revolutionary War we might not be standing here today." Thus, the Democratic legislator made her case stick with the aid of an arcane legal compendium that still held relevance in the eyes of the Massachusetts state legislature. Parente's resourcefulness and diligence deserve our respect and admiration.
The "Never Mind The Law! Toorn Him Oot!" Award
Kristen Rand, Legislative Director of the Violence Policy Center
Commenting on the looming battle before the US Supreme Court next year in the case of McDonald v. Chicago, a case that could have significant repercussions for state and municipal gun bans (including Chicago's handgun ban), Ms. Rand told America: The National Catholic Weekly that she was concerned that the Court would evaluate the case as a question of Constitutional law "and not in terms of the deadly effect on citizens of gun violence." Ms. Rand, I don't know if you're aware of this, but that's their job.
The "Not Now, I'm On My Coffee Break" Award
Illinois State Police
Shortly after Obama's inauguration, the Illinois State Police started getting backlogged on FOID renewals and applications. By state law, an FOID request must be handled within 30 days, but the time delay has dragged out to perhaps twice that long, meaning that an otherwise law-abiding citizen of Illinois trying to renew her FOID for a shotgun could become a criminal overnight because the officers responsible for renewing her FOID have been procrastinating on keeping her legal - yet another reason why state permits for gun ownership should be consigned to the recycling bin.
The "Cancel The Parade Float" Award
Ellen Boneparth, President of the Calfornia Brady Campaign Chapters
Ann Reiss Lane, Women Against Gun Violence
Maybe I'm being too harsh. Boneparth and Lane were extolling the virtues of California's gun-control laws less than two month's before convicted felon Lovelle Mixon went on a deadly rampage in Oakland, killing four police officers with a handgun and a rifle before being gunned down himself by Oakland SWAT. But the praise that Boneparth and Lane heaped upon California's laws rings hollow when you realize that Mixon, who was previously convicted of assault with a deadly weapon, was originally sought by police for violating parole - and still managed to obtain two guns despite his criminal record. This is by no means a denigration of the massive amount of energy that California gun-control activists have expended in order to make their homes and communities safer, but if I can be accused of promoting a misguided agenda by my critics, I can only wonder if the efforts of these tireless individuals (many of whom have lost loved ones to armed criminals and gangsters) could be better spent on alternative crime prevention strategies that lock up the bad guys while respecting and strengthening the rights of law-abiding gun owners.
The "Did He Fire Six Shots, Or Only Five?" Award
FN Herstal's "Black Box"
Introduced at Milipol Paris 2009, the Black Box is a molded electronic module that fits inside the pistol grips of most military rifles and SMGs; it transmits the identification number of the firearm, number of shots fired, cycle malfunctions, and firing sequences to a computer database, thus providing real-time logistics intelligence to squad commanders and armorers. In other words, the Black Box keeps track of how many shots were fired, where the shots were fired (if paired with a GPS unit), and when the duty weapon jammed, if at all. It looks like another step towards developing those nifty pulse rifles from the movie Aliens, but the Black Box may prove to be an invaluable tool for monitoring and recreating the details of any firefight in which operators find themselves in harm's way.
The "Gang That Couldn't Shoot Straight" Award
Any Republican/Tea Party protester who brought a loaded gun to a townhall meeting or rally in the summer of 2009
Seriously? Are you for real? Our nation is plagued with heath insurance companies that are raising premiums while cutting back on coverage and dropping customers for the vilest of reasons. One baby is denied coverage for being too skinny. Another baby is denied coverage for being too fat. Health insurance bureaucrats are cancelling coverage for rape victims in several states because they have redefined rape as a "pre-existing condition." And you're angry with the folks demanding sweeping reforms to keep insurance companies fair and honest? If you have a legitimate complaint about health insurance reform - and believe me, I've got a few questions I want our legislators to answer - we can talk about it, but bringing guns to reform rallies with what appears to be the intent of intimidating reform advocates is truly a bad idea. Believe it or not, however, I know of at least one idea that's potentially worse...
The "Or Are You Just Happy To See Me?" Award
Darrel A.H. Miller, University of Cincinnati College of Law
This law professor came up with the novel idea of treating gun ownership under the Second Amendment the same as pornographic material under the First Amendment - in other words, your right to own a firearm is "a right that ends at the doorstep," leaving the government with "nearly unfettered discretion" to forbid guns anywhere outside the home. Miller claims the the 2008 Heller ruling by the Supreme Court leaves the door open to treating guns in public the same as a celebrity sex tape, but in reality his "Guns as Smut" concept puts your rights at the mercy of demagogues, mob mentality, and the nebulous concept of "community standards." Perhaps some advocates of such a legal framework would be satisfied with a DVD in which a sorority full of sexually insatiable, pistol-packing coeds is greeted at the front door by a muscular delivery guy who asks "Did you gals order up a case of ammo?" resulting in target shooting and XXX-rated frolicking for all, but at least maybe it will keep them too occupied to screw around with our Constitutional rights.
The "Whiplash" Award
Former Congressman Clay Shaw (R-FL)
Shaw was reportedly on Gov. Charlie Crist's short list to replace Senator Mel Martinez when his record on gun legislation came up. When asked, Shaw referred to his support for a semi-auto ban as "a separate thing from gun control," but within 24 hours, Shaw practically reversed his position when he feared it would jeopardize his chances of becoming the junior Senator from Florida. Does your neck hurt yet, Clay?
The "Game Over, Man, Game Over" Award
Bungie Studios
This videogame development studio, based in Kirkland, Washington, recently released Halo 3: ODST amidst a media campaign that utilized a fake sniper rifle patterned on one of the firearms used in the game. But when a Bungie employee hauled the rifle back to the office, someone on their way to the local farmer's market mistook the prop for a working AK-47 and called the police, who swarmed Bungie Studios only to learn there was no imminent threat to the public good. I have nothing but respect for Bungie, but perhaps draping horse blankets over those studio props would be a good idea for the future.
And last, but by no means least...
The "Not Worth The Paper It's Printed On" Award
TIE: Municipal Code 11.98 - City of Richmond, California
S-1774 - New Jersey ("One gun a month" law)
Richmond's 11.98 code outlawed civilian possession within Richmond city limits of any gun magazine that holds more than 10 rounds. On December 1, the City Council voted to repeal the measure under threat of a lawsuit from the NRA and California gun activists. A second reading of the repeal motion on December 15 should kill the ordinance once and for all. Although the state does have a current magazine ban in effect, it grandfathers those "high-capacity" magazines that were already legally owned when the ban took effect, thus making the Richmond edict all the more egregious.
But then there's New Jersey's brand-spanking-new "one gun a month" law, which is so badly written that it even prevents Federally licensed firearm dealers from obtaining more than one gun per month for their inventories. This resulted in a flurry of legislative activity to amend the new law so that gun dealers don't have to close up shop, but let's face it - average law-abiding gun owners in the Garden State have just had their rights seriously infringed. Maybe next year's McDonald v. Chicago showdown will take this new edict down a peg or two. In the meantime, Gov. Jon Corzine, don't let the door hit you on your way out of the Executive Mansion. Kisses!