Apparently it's already time to speculate about possible Republican contenders for the Presidency in 2012. We all know the candidate will come from the ranks of governors and senators as usual, and despite the slight uptick in dissatisfaction with the Democrats, the GOP doesn't seem to have much to offer. Let's look at some of the possible frontrunners being discussed in various recent polls and punditry:
Mississippi Gov. Haley Barbour: Presides over a state in the bottom end of every conceivable list of success and prosperity indicators. His record of "accomplishments" would be like shooting fish in a barrel. Non-Southern voters would be turned off by the redneck vibe. A taller Boss Hogg in a darker suit.
Former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush: No chance. McCain was successfully pilloried for just a perceived Bush affiliation even without the surname "Bush." Gov. Jeb Bush might have a chance a decade from now, but not next time.
Indiana Gov. Mitch Daniels: A bureaucrat-turned-politician who mismanaged a surplus budget into a billion-dollar deficit while serving in the Bush White House? Hopeless.
Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich: An aging has-been. The very picture of the Republican Party rejected by an increasingly diverse electorate. No chance.
Former Utah. Gov. Jon Huntsman: A Mormon. Voters may not admit it, but they won’t trust somebody from a non-mainstream religious background. Besides, he’s a turncoat who accepted an ambassadorial appointment from President Obama.
Former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee: A Fox News entertainer? Please. By the time 2012 rolls around, his political career will be history. It already is, thanks to the whole Clemmons debacle. And his theocratic vision won’t fly with the moderates and centrists, who ultimately choose our Presidents.
Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal: Possibly sincere, but presents as the offspring of Gilligan and Mister Rogers. No chance against the Obama machine.
Sen. John McCain: Loser. Too old. Next.
Former Temporary Governor Sarah Palin: Aaaaaahahahahahahaha! That is all.
Texas Rep. Ron Paul: Many good ideas, but unelectable. Too old. Not charismatic enough. Getting a little bit weird in recent years.
Minnesota Gov. Tim Pawlenty: Might lack the charisma necessary to capture the modern voters’ attention. Recent decision to not run for re-election makes him irrelevant by 2012. Getting more rightwingnutty by the day.
Former Massachusetts Mitt Romney. Another Mormon. Again, voters may not admit it, but many won’t trust somebody from this religious background, even the same evangelical Christians who spoke well of his economics when he really didn't have a chance in 2008. Besides, by 2012 he’s just a slick big mouth with good hair who used to be a businessman and a governor way back when.