Dreams of a Lucrative Book Licensing Deal
. . . In other book news, former President George W. Bush spoke with the Associated Press about his new book, tentatively titled "Decision Points," also to be published by Crown and, as with Obama, negotiated by power attorney Bob Barnett.
"I want people to understand the environment in which I was making decisions. I want people to get a sense of how decisions were made and I want people to understand the options that were placed before me," the [former] president said. ...
George W. Bush's Twelve Toughest Decisions
"Coors Light first, then Jack Daniels? Jack Daniels first, then Coors Light? Hell, they don't call it a 'chaser' fer nuthin', I guess, heh."
"Tradin' Sammy Sosa. Damn. I traded Sammy Sosa."
"Pickin' a Vice President. That one was so dang tough, I jes' didn't do it, I let the guy in charge of findin' me a Vice President make the decision. Lucky fer me, Unca Dick chose his own dang self!"
"'The Pet Goat' or 'Goodnight Moon'? Well, it's too early for us to do nap time, so I'll read 'em that goat book."
"No more 'ghost writers'.... I see'd Karl Rove and Karen Hughes writin' that other book I wrote, ghosts's my big brown eye!"
"Less government intrusion in American lives: it's the Republican way! Exceptin' if it's a pro-life thing, like that lady they wanted to take offa life support jes' 'cause she wouldn't speak up for herself.... I swear, she winked at me on that satellite feed Ricky Santorum showed me!"
"Pretzels are so NOT better than chips 'n dip, no matter what Unca Dick says!"
"Somebody write me a speech without that 'nookular' word in it, gawdingit!"
"Where should I go on vacation this month? The ranch? Camp David? Kennebunkport? Naw, that 'bunk' part's fer real! Ooh, I know, Aferca, I see'd these elephants doin' it this one time, that was way cool!"
"'N', 'Q', what the heck's the difference?!?"
"It so unwinds me when Condi gives me a neck massage during staff meetings, and I still don't understand what that chubby German President Merkel's problem was!"
"No way I am EVER goin' huntin' with Unca Dick!"
If There Were No Newspapers....