This is a time of economic uncertainty, what with the auto industry going down the drain, the military-industrial complex and financial giants looting the treasury, and meanwhile all the little people like us are yearning for something to ease our growing burdens. Well, worry no more folks, because I've got the cure for all that ails you!
Mojo!
Mojo will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no mojo!
Mojo makes you more popular.
Mojo hides those increasingly prevalent gray hairs. Only your hairdresser knows for sure!
Four out of five dentists recommend Mojo for their patients that visit Daily Kos.
Mojo increases your athletic performance without the risk of being banned from international sporting competitions.
Mojo keeps you from "going" so often due to BPH, also known as an enlarged prostrate.
Mojo makes your teeth whiter. (Are you listening, Senator McCain?)
Only a fool would short-sell Mojo.
Mojo helps you avoid dishpan hands. Mild? It's more than just mild...you're soaking in it!
Mojo will make sure you're ready when the "moment is right" (if symptoms persist for more than four hours, see your doctor immediately).
Mojo will assign market value to those pesky collateralized debt obligations.
Mojo increases your fuel mileage (and it burns clean, too).
Mojo gets rid of ring around the collar.
Mojo...it's what's for dinner!
Mojo helps you win friends and influence people.
Mojo alleviates the itching and burning of athlete's foot.
Mojo makes past performance an indicator of future results.
Mojo will make you look younger too.
Both Tim Geithner and Paul Krugman agree that Mojo will stimulate the economy.
Mojo renders properly in every browser...Internet Explorer, Firefox, Opera, Safari and Chrome!
Mojo transcends the need for Facebook friends.
Mojo will never STFU or GBCW.
IOSLAYGM (It's OK so long as you've got Mojo!)
Mojo is wingnut repellent. Notice the lack of Mojo on Faux News.
Mojo can kick Chuck Norris' ass.
Sadly, not even Mojo can save Chrysler.