Growing up Canadian in the shadow of the USA, is a little bit like growing up a pre-teen with an older sibling in their teens - you hear things, and you think you can relate, but you have no idea,
I met the love of my life in 1996. It wasn't supposed to be that way - I was in Asia as a test of what I thought was a monastic calling, but God likes Her little jokes. She put sweet, beautiful, fierce and strong, Miss Park in my way to show me the direction She was really calling me in.
In 1998 we got married, a simple civil ceremony that united us in matrimony and also satisfied the requirements of the Canadian Ministry of Immigration.
In May of 1999, my beautiful Buddhist bride and I repeated our vows in front of a Catholic Priest in the full view of family and friends in the back yard of my mom's and dad's house. Being a family gathering, everyone had too much fun. Its a family law.
The next day, Melissa complained of nausea and early morning fatigue. My wise and perceptive mom, compared to us dull-normal male family members at the breakfast table, immediately suggested a pregnancy test.
Hanna Teresa Park Deepfish made her presence known. Unequivocally. Two red lines. Oh yes.
On the trip home to our crummy but cosy apartment we slowly fell in love with the idea of being a family with children.
I was teaching at a rotten job, but had prospects. Melissa was waiting on her permission to seek employment. We had no savings, other than a locked in retirement savings account which I could not access. I had no idea that my wife had other resources - but that's a tale for another day.
We decided to travel the 150 kms or so home by the regional roads, since I was not too sure of my shaking hands and nerves. We tentatively sounded each other out:
"I feel - but do you?"
It took twice as long, but by the time we arrived in Scarborough we were both sure that we were both in love with this baby.
By the time we got home we were already Mom and Dad...
...and we had given not a single thought to medical expenses.
I had no private insurance, my employer was a down on the heels private school, and I had no available savings to speak of. We lived in a really bad neighbourhood. We had aspirations of better - but that was two or three years down the line. We were poor.
But we had single payer medicare.
It never occurred to either of us to worry about medical costs.
Get that - no private insurance, no savings, professional couple, single income - in what amounts to an internship, really - and we had not a thought to medical expenses. We knew that baby clothes, and receiving blankets and cribs and advice (lots of advice) would be coming from moms, dads, grand moms, aunts and uncles and great aunts and uncles and cousins and friends and friendly strangers. We also knew that when we arrived at the hospital (and also for care and counselling beforehand) there would be no bill.
We made our decision without the added stress of having to worry about starting our life together with an unsupportable debt.
Think about that, my beloved American cousins, when they ask you why public option for health care is such a priority for you.
When I was a kid, in American movies I was exposed to, in US TV series, in pulp fiction, I always heard or read about "saving up for a kid". I never could quite connect my experience with what I was seeing. Surely the expense of childbirth and a new family member could be borne week to week? Maybe these Americans wanted a really expensive crib?
Like a pre-adolescent watching a teenage brother or sister, I lacked intimate and real knowledge.
For Canadians and Americans the act of "saving up for a kid" has an exponential difference.
This is why when the decision is made, whether to start a family, start a life saving treatment, or even go to the doctor with a complaint that could be anywhere from a common ache to a life threatening symptom - EVERY American deserves no less than what every Canadian receives.
I go in less than 36 hours to a place halfway around the world to be reunited with my love and my girls, Hanna and Leah. If not for "socialized" medicine, I would not dare to guess at my present circumstances...
But I am happy, and well served, and Hanna's smile is priceless, and Leah always makes me laugh., and Melissa continues to be the source of my strength and joy.
...and we have no debt.
God bless you and walk beside you in the barren places you travel
DFooK
(here comes the annoying Healh Care ad)