Good morning, Blogistan Polytechnic Institute. It's Crissie's day off, so I'm here to talk about the things I've learned at DailyKos over the past 18 months. Good lessons all. Don't take any of this personally, unless it's about you. Or someone you like. Or something.
More below.
My lessons are simple, and aroused my sense of humor. After the last month, I didn't realize I still had one. If you don't find them amusing, I suggest some more coffee. Alternatively, you can write your own diary about how stupid I am.
I have learned the following:
- Barack Obama is the best president ever. He channels George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, and Abraham Lincoln.
- If Barack Obama doesn't channel Franklin Roosevelt, John Kennedy, Lyndon Johnson, and Ella Menopy, he'll be the worst president ever.
- Keith Olbermann slept here.
- Glenn Beck needs a nap, but not here.
- If you disagree with a diary, immediately post a counter-diary.
- Your topic has already been diaried. Please delete.
- Meteor Blades has a thankless job.
- Thank you, Meteor Blades.
- SYFPH (Shut Your F-ing Pie Hole).
- Yell louder.
- Tea-leaf reading is as common here as it was in my Irish grandmother's home.
- This is a reality-based community.
- You may have thought of the one, new, original, comprehensive, conclusive argument about atheism, religion, Israel, or Palestine.
- But probably not.
- The correct response to an outrageous rumor is a site-wide epidemic of diaryargh.
- No rumor is too trivial for outrage.
- Calm the f*ck down.
- And learn some f*cking manners while you're at it.
- Diaries about pooties or making fun of Republicans will make the Rec List.
- A diary about pooties making fun of Republicans would break the server.
- I never make the Rec List. Bunch of cliquish a-holes!
- I can't believe I made the Rec List. Thank you, wonderful people!
- BREAKING!!! ALL-CAPS TO MEET EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!
- Update: All-caps, exclamation points disappoint.
- Kossacks with UIDs below 123659 are arrogant.
- Kossacks with UIDs above 123659 are ignorant.
- Our government is bought and paid for and what we say doesn't matter.
- Please call your congressman to complain about that.
- America was better when you were young.
- No matter how old you are.
There you have it. Have fun adding your own lessons. This is, after all, a robust public option(*) for opinion.
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Happy Wednesday!
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(* Actually a privately-owned co-op. See FAQ for preexisting conditions, internetwork providers only, HR trigger and mojo deductible may apply.)