A Modest Proposal.
Since the government is already controlled largely by corporate interests, today's decision in Citizens United is simply a step towards making that control a little more efficient. And as the economists tell us, efficiency benefits everyone.
So, in light of this forward progress towards more efficient government, I would like to propose some further streamlining of our nation's electoral processes.
Corporations already basically run the government, with relatively moderate amounts of money, schmoozing, gifts, and the threat of running issue ads against elected officials. The country has a problem with access and costs of health care? Simply write a bill that prevents people from paying less for prescription drugs, and that requires every American to give money to insurance companies. To write anything less generous to the corporate health care interests wouldn't even have a prayer of passing.
Because of the Citizens decision, instead of indirectly greasing the sausage factory through lobbyists and PACs, the corporations can now turn on the firehoses to blow away any politician they don't like. No one will be able to cross them and get elected. No amendment will pass that they do not support.
Still, this new system feels pretty inefficient. I mean, the corporate policymakers have to spend all this money to influence actual human voters to cast their votes in a certain way. Sure, they're masters at knowing how to influence people, and yes, they have unlimited funds to do so, and certainly, the vast majority of Americans are easily influenced. But still, as a Captain of Industry, it's gotta stick in your craw that you're dependent on a whole bunch of rubes to vote the way you want them to.
Plus it seems constitutional, that as persons, Corporations should be allowed the right to vote directly. After all, the 14th Amendment states that "All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside. " And the 15th Amendment holds that "the right of citizens of the United States to vote shall not be denied or abridged."
Well, I don't have a PhD in Logic like some of you, but it seems to me that: If (a) Corporations have all the rights of persons, and (b) all persons born or naturalized in the US are citizens, and (c) all citizens have the right to vote, then it follows concretely that corporations, at least those born or naturalized in the US, must have the right to vote. No taxation without representation!
Here's the thing though... it doesn't seem fair that each corporation would only get one vote. I mean, after all, some of them are huge. And many of the bigger corporations own hundreds of other subsidiary corporations. It gets confusing to figure out just how many votes each corporation should have.
The most efficient system? Rather than the corporations needing to spend all this money on ads just to influence individual voters, the corporations should be able to simply place a vote by spending a pre-determined amount of money. Let's say that studies determine that the average cost to influence a vote is $2... well then, just let the corporation pay the $2 directly to the Federal or State or local government, and count that as one vote. Of course, a corporation shouldn't be limited to a certain number of votes placed by this method, that would be limiting it's speech. If it wants to spend $20 million to rack up 10 million votes, great! Individuals could certainly get in on this too; it's more convenient than taking off from work and parking and all that.
If Exxon and Monsanto and Pfizer and the others are gonna spend all that money anyway, it might as well go to the government. It would help balance the budget! The government can then use this source of revenue for all sorts of spending priorities, such as handouts to corporations. Or tax cuts.
Only then will we insure that government of the persons, by the persons, for the persons, shall not perish from the earth.
I, for one, welcome our (not so new) corporate overlords.