On Sunday, brooklynbadboy had a frontpage diary entitled In Praise of Let's Move. In what was an otherwise a worthy defense of Michele Obama's plan to alleviate the obesity epidemic in the US, he disparages "play dates" (a term he finds 'awful').
Without knowing brooklynbadboy's exact life circumstances, it seems fair to say that he and the commenters in the diary who agree with him do have children (or not recently), and misunderstand how play dates play out. Let me elucidate.
A play date is a pre-arranged or spontaneous gathering of parents and like-aged children. What occurs at the play date is usually dependent on the age of the children. For my one-year-old daughter, it's usually swings and playground at the park, or a friends house if the weather is inclement. It's mostly unstructured play. Parents push the swings, spot them on the slide, and try to catch up with one another between running around after the chamacos.
Play dates are not four letter words. They do not connote highly organized expeditions to teach and exercise and socialize the children. Those things happen organically. If the playdate is set for the museum, then hopefully the parents and children can be equally entertained by the neat interactive exhibits. If it's the park, then the parents get to catch up with one another while the children play. If it's at a parent's house, then there is the benefit of being in a childproof fun play environment and we the parents can put our feet up and let the kids figure it out.
One commenter misunderstood that the playdate was for the purpose of going out to exercise the child, as if the child could not exercise at home. That's just silly. There are no aerobics. My daughter can exhaust herself at home as equally as the park.
Brooklynbadboy eludes to a nostalgic world where "go out and play" was the watchword. I had that as a kid too. My daughter will have that too. We seek out playdates for a variety of reasons, 1) variety of play, 2) similar-aged playmates, and 3) socialization for me, the parent. Letting a one-year-old play outside unsupervised is beyond ludicrous, and I doubt that broolynbadboy's mother let him go outside unsupervised, even if supervision meant other older kids, which is totally OK, but don't pretend for a minute that your mother would let you wander the neighborhood alone.
We don't live in dense burbs like Brooklyn with high walk-ablity, lots of parks, and lots of similar-aged children. While the children on our block are numerous, the next-closed aged child is a six year old. I like my neighbor, but she is not an appropriate playmate everyday for my daughter.
Also, stay-at-home dads are rare, and often rejected in traditional stay-at-home parenting communities, even in the Bay Area. Rather than lament this, I actively seek out moms and dads who are liberal and not afraid of men taking on traditional women roles.
What's really improved with the playdate is the idea that the parents should socialize too. We don't need to stay home and cook and clean and drink cooking sherry with the other shut-ins on the block. We can have just as much fun at the park or the museum as our kids.
How among a (probably very) small community of liberals this idea of the nasty, suburban playdate entered the zeitgeist is beyond me.
I welcome your feedback, and any insight as to why the playdate is so disparaged. For now, I'm off to the gym with my daughter, where she can run around a padded room and bounce on the trampoline to her hearts delight. I'll treat it like a playdate, even though it's run through the city. I like socializing, too.