Today I checked the mail on the way home from work, only to find something more precious than gold...a fundraising letter from Sharron Angle. Imagine my thrill of glee as I perused the envelope. I guess subscribing to the RedState daily sewage will continue to pay off in comedy gold. I thought the emails from Michal Steele and Mike Huckabee were the prizes, little did I know...
So, let's start with the envelope. The return address is:
SHARRON ANGLE
Official Republican Nominee
for U.S. Senate Against Harry Reid
My curiosity was immediately piqued. What wingnut dogwhistle was I missing by not understanding why she would specify that she is the "official" republican nominee?
The middel of the envelope contains the message: "As the official Republican nominee running against Harry Reid, I need your help today!
So far, so strange...err..good. Let's take a look see inside.
I was instantly rewarded with this opening sentence:
Dear (TexasDan),
If you're the Republican I've been told you are I need you to find your checkbook right now.
Who let out my secret to you Sharrrron?? Hell, I didn't even know! Oh, yes. By all means, how much do you need? And, why exactly do you need it? Being a big ol' Republican, you'd think I had a better memory...
Because I am the official Republican nominee to defeat Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid...
Oh, right. How could I forget?
So it goes on from there. I learned so many things, like that President Obama was responsible for TARP, Harry Reid is "unloading everything he has on" Sharrrrrrrrrron to "smear her good name", and that the Nevada Senate race is "the #1 race in America this year."
Oh, and apparently she needs one million suckers..err..losers..err..Patriotic Americans (tm) to give her $25 to keeep Harry and Barack from ramming something or other down our throats.
A couple of other interesting (to me at least) things:
The return envelope has two checkboxes to indicate whether I am enclosing a) an URGENT REPLY
or
b) an EMERGENCY DONATION
I'm guessing that saves someone the time of opening the ones that only have "URGENT REPLIES".
The other weird thing was that the mailer wasn't from "Sharron Angle for Senate", it was from "Friends of Sharron Angle".
Thanks, Sharrrrrrrrrrrrrrron. You added a laugh to an otherwise dismal day.