Today is the 130th anniversary of the death of Norton I, Emperor of the United States and Protector of Mexico. In honor of His Imperial Majesty, I resubmit the following diary.
(FYI: the Emperor went broke shortly after the California Gold Rush, and thereafter declared himself Norton I, Emperor of the United States and, occasionally, "Protector of Mexico." From then on he shuffled about the streets of San Francisco, wearing a military uniform with tarnished epaulets, inspecting various projects, issuing imperial decrees, and living off the sale of imperial bonds. )
To this day he is remembered and honored by the people of San Francisco and elsewhere, for reasons that I hope will show, and which reflect well on our country.
Preemptive Apology: I first posted this 2 years ago,. 1000 pardons please for posting this diary again, but there were only 6 comments last time, so I don't think it's overexposed, plus you get new intro and new poll! I'm like that "Get a Brain, Moran" you keep seeing.
During the early 1860's wherever the Emperor Norton went, even to an occasional nosh paid for with imperial script, he was accompanied by his two dogs Lazarus and Bummer. A box seat was always reserved at the theater for the Emperor and his dogs, who always received a standing ovation. Restaurants served the Emperor without charge on the imperial treasury, and put up plaques indicating they'd been of service to His Imperial Majesty.
In 1867 a young constable arrested His Majesty on an allegation of lunacy. His Majesty was promptly released, with an full apology, and these words:
he had shed no blood; robbed no one; and despoiled no country; which is more than can be said of his fellows in that line.
The Emperor always carried a cane or an umbrella with him, as he wandered about the city conducting inspections of civic works and so forth. It was said that he'd once stopped an anti-Chinese riot by simply bowing his head in prayer in front of the rioters.
The emperor had to put down occasional troubles with rebels:
Whereas, the Grand Hotel, hitherto our headquarters, is in rebellion; now, therefore, we, Norton I, do hereby command the Water Companies to close down on them, and the Gas Company to give them no light, so as to bring them to terms.
For those who doubt that Norton I was our country's first holder of the imperial dignity, at least until George II, be aware that official submission of the U.S. to his authority was shown when the 1870 census listed his occupation as "Emperor."
Among other things the Emperor decreed female suffrage in California and outlawed the use the F-word to describe his capital city:
Whoever after due and proper warning shall be heard to utter the abominable word "Frisco", which has no linguistic or other warrant, shall be deemed guilty of a High Misdemeanor, and shall pay into the Imperial Treasury as penalty the sum of twenty-five dollars.
One rainy day in 1880, the Emperor collapsed on the street and died. Reporters searched his little room, and found nothing much but some old uniforms, a few Imperial bonds, and a few U.S. dollars. A subscription was raised to pay for a decent funeral (as was thought necessary under the customs of the times), and it was said that 10,000 passed by to view his remains. The San Francisco Chronicle published a fine eulogy, the last words of which were simple and moving:
The floral tributes, wreaths and bouquets were so numerous as to completely cover the coffin lid, the only exception being the silver plate, which bore this inscription neatly engraved:
Joshua A. Norton
Died January 8, 1880
Aged About 65
In 1934, the the Emperor's tomb was relocated:
In 1934, his remains had to be moved to Woodlawn cemetery in Colma. Fifty-four years after his death, he still captured the imagination of San Francisco. Flags throughout the city were lowered and businesses actually closed their doors in his honor. Approximately sixty thousand people attended the ceremony which featured full military honors. His new granite tombstone was engraved "Norton I, Emperor of the United States, Protector of Mexico, Joshua A. Norton, 1819-1880". There are no quotation marks on the tombstone.
His Imperial Majesty had also decreed a bridge and tunnel system linking San Francisco and Oakland. Belatedly that decree was obeyed, and much much later, in 2004, the City of San Francisco Board of Supervisors voted to rename that great work as Emperor Norton I Bridge, although this noble effort is encountering pockets of lèse majesté in Oakland.
To this day, there are fresh flowers upon the Emperor's grave, as well as the flag of his (and our) nation.
I close with the prescient remarks of the San Francisco Chronicle in 1880, made upon the Emperor's death,and which invite consideration to this day of what our modern Emperor may leave behind to us.
On the reeking pavement, in the darkness of a moonless night under the dripping rain, and surrounded by a hastily gathered crowd of wondering strangers, Norton I, by the grace of God, Emperor of the United States and Protector of Mexico, departed this life. Other sovereigns have died with no more of kindly care--other sovereigns have died as they have lived with all the pomp of earthly majesty, but death having touched them, Norton I rises up the exact peer of the haughtiest King or Kaiser that ever wore a crown.
Perhaps he will rise more than the peer of most of them. He had a better claim to kindly consideration than that his lot "forbade to wade through slaughter to a throne and shut the gates of mercy on mankind." Through his harmless proclamations can always be traced an innate gentleness of heat, a desire to effect uses and a courtesy, the possession of which would materially improve the bitterful living princes whose names will naturally suggest themselves.