Welcome to the unliveblog coverage of the second Brown-Whitman debate -- the first-ever Spanish-language gubernatorial debate in modern California. (I assume that back when the Governors were Mexican, there might have been one or two.) It's called a "Spanish-language" debate (despite that the candidates will speak in English) because the questions will be asked in Spanish (then translated for candidates), and it will be broadcast over the Spanish-Language network Univision with a Spanish voice-over. (I'm thinking Javier Bardem for Brown, and maybe Nicky Diaz can translate for Whitman.) It will also be streamed on the Univision websites listed on this page, pero si usted quiere entender las instrucciones, usted tiene que ser capaz de hablar español. (Gracias, Google Translate!)
The debate will make headlines for the most brazen lie many of us will ever witness in such a venue.
Update: if you missed it, the liveblog of the first debate, which was an actual liveblog, is here.
Note that this is not a "liveblog," although you can follow along with it as if it were (and your own real-time comments are more than welcome!) The debate actually took place this morning at 11:15, ending about 90 minutes later after a half hour break due to some major technical difficulties. That means I've been able to get a jump on the liveblog through the Wall Street Journal coverage and this LA Times story alluded to in the characteristically incisive coverage from Calitics.
Q1: This is a very close race. ... Why should Latinos vote for you, and how are you reaching out?"
Meg: "I cannot win the governor's race without the Latino vote." (Well, not until we import more teabaggers, I guess.) She then notes that she has touched all the stylistic bases by hiring plenty of Latinos (as well as almost every other politico willing to work for her bloated campaign), misleads Latinos on Spanish-language radio stations, and makes her website available en Español. Muy bueno, Madre del Chucky, pero donde esta el carne? Or, as a literal English translation, what about substance, Meg? She says that Latinos care about jobs -- which she'll create by giving mas dinero to the rich -- and education, which she'll improve by treating it like a goat gets treated by el chupacabra.
Jerry: reminds people that when he was Governor before, he signed a farm labor bill pushed by Cesar Chavez himself. (Meg thinks: "Got him! Palling around with Venezuelan dictators, are ya?") Brown continues: "I'm going to treat everybody whether they're documented or not as God's child. We are brothers and sisters." Somehow, despite this, he remains likely to hang onto the agnostic/athiest vote. Actually, his response is brilliant and shows how long and how well he's been committed to Latino causes.
Moderator Maria Elena Salinas, a Univision anchor, says "no, I don't care about what you've done throughout your brilliant career, I want to know about your outreach, like Meg told us!"
Jerry: Oh. I have offices in all 58 counties.
Q2: How they'll create jobs and how Hispanics would benefit short term.
Jerry: California should once again become a leader in renewable energy. That will create jobs retrofitting buildings, creating high-speed rail, etc. (Meg thinks: "Got him! Hispanics working in construction? These people all work in the fields and as, um, domestic workers who later have their brains eaten by trial lawyers.") Jerry ends by psychically signaling to your humble unLiveblog author to abandon this literary device. (Done, sir!)
Meg: I want to bankrupt California, let businesses evade environmental, employment and safety regulations that largely help lower-wage employees, and make sure people can get their pizza more quickly. (This is a loose interpretation of the WSJ liveblog.) She also wants to eliminate what Google says will be translated into Spanish as "el impuesto de fábrica," which it translates back to English as "Tax Factory." If Spanish-speaking listeners are confused by this, they're probably understanding it pretty well. She finishes: "Because I've been in business for 30 years, I know a lot about what small businesses need to grow and thrive." Yes, they need eBay not to be gouging them like back in the good old days before she took over.
More translation (good, bad, and ugly) to come -- include la gran mentira (The big lie!)
Q3:How will you help California families who lost or may lose their homes?
Meg: put Californians to work. Extend the homebuyer credit. (The federal one?)
Jerry: Meg's tax cuts for "millionaires and billionaires" would increase the deficit and take money away from school.
Here it comes!
Q4: Why didn't you show compassion for your longtime employee and try to legalize her status?
Meg: "The Nikki that I saw on the press conference was not the Nikki I knew for nine years." (Yeah, she’s standing up to you rather than letting you walk all over her, Madame CEO!)
I interrupt this to let you guess what she's going to say next. You know about her housekeeper scandal. What is the most atrocious response you could imagine her giving? Keep that thought in mind and read on!
“Here's the truth: ... I made the hardest decision I made in my life,” in firing Diaz. Her lawyer said she couldn’t help her. "After November 2, nobody's going to be watching out for Nikki Diaz". And then to Jerry Brown, she says: "You should be ashamed for sacrificing Nikki Diaz on the altar of your political ambitions."
Ay-yi-yi! She’s blaming Brown for her scandal, and he hasn’t been campaigning on it!
BRAZEN, VICIOUS, LYING! (Will people be fooled?)
Jerry is asked whether his campaign orchestrated this scandal.
Jerry: "This is incredible, Meg. ... You're trying to evade responsibility." She said there should be raids on businesses to see if they're hiring illegal immigrants. ""Don't run for governor if you can't stand on your two feet and say, I'm sorry. … You've blamed her, blamed me, blamed the unions, but you [haven't taken] responsibility."
The moderator asked if they would take the lie detector test. Jerry says "hey, not my scandal." She says "Jerry's campaign was talking about this two weeks ago." Imagine: political gossip! Never before....
Let's put that into a block quote:
"The Nicky I saw at the press conference three days ago was not the Nicky that I knew for nine years. And you know what my first clue was? She kept referring to me as 'Ms. Whitman.' For the nine years she worked for me she called me 'Meg' and I called her 'Nicky.'"
Legal tip for the unaware: SHE'S SUING YOU NOW, MEG!
IT'S A MORE FORMAL RELATIONSHIP THAN CLEANING YOUR TOILET!
"You should be ashamed for sacrificing Nicky Diaz on the altar of your political ambitions."
Jerry: Whitman's refusal to take responsibility for her actions shows that she is not fit to be California's next governor. "Don’t run for governor if you can’t stand up on your own two feet and say, 'Hey I made a mistake, I’m sorry, let’s go on from here',"
"You have blamed her, blamed me, blamed the left, blamed the unions but you don’t take accountability. You can't be a leader unless you’re willing to stand on your own two feet and say, yup, I made a mistake and I’m going on from here."
Yikes. Yikes. Yikes.
Note: right after this came the technical difficulties and they just made small-talk for a half-hour.
Q5: should states sanction those who contract undocumented workers such as nannies and workers in homes?
Meg: we must secure the border and hold "all employers accountable" for hiring undocumented workers. You first, Meg!
Jerry: I oppose the state police, state attorney general's office, and such going after undocumented workers. "This is a federal government problem, and the federal government ought to do something about it. She is talking out of both sides of her mouth. ... I think her veracity is seriously in question."
Q6: Sanctuary cities, driver's licenses for undocumented immigrants.
Jerry: No and no, but Meg is strongly against a path to citizenship.
Meg says she favors a temporary guest worker program, but that illegal immigration is ... illegal.
Meg: "I did hold myself accountable" for the Diaz situation. Now let's talk about education instead. Anything but immigration. Let's scapegoat teachers!"
Jerry: She's doing just what Arnold did and people don't buy it. And we don't need a new bracero program -- give honorable people a path to citizenship, don't squeeze out their juice and toss them away! And she's against state benefits for the undocumented; she supports the substance of Prop 187.
Q7: Now a blonde-streaked Latina from Fresno State is talking about how she came here with her parents as a child, she's been #1 in her class, now she's graduating, and because she's undocumented she can't practice her profession. So: would you support the DREAM Act?
Jerry: I support the federal and the state DREAM Act. By the way, Meg isn't just opposed, but she wants to kick you out of this university.
Meg: I am pleased that you milked the state educational system despite being a hateful immigrant. Make way for less qualified Californians in school, along with people from out of state who pay higher tuition.
Q8: How would you help Hispanic students?
Meg: I want to put more money into the classroom, more charter schools, paid good teachers more, give schools letter grades to piss off parents who didn't realize they lived in poor neighborhoods with underfunded schools.
Jerry: [Righteous rant.]
Q9: Can't complete education in four years because classes aren't being offered!
Jerry: I love the university system. My dad created UC Santa Cruz, Riverside, and Irvine. Things went to hell after I left the Governor's office. They spent their money on prisons instead. We can take $1 billion out of prisons, and I want the community college classes to be accepted at the UCs. And online education, maybe.
Meg: We must save the schools by eliminating the capital gains tax! If people need money -- well, I need a housekeeper. We need not to be losing jobs that we're not losing to Arizona to Arizona! By the way, I spent last debate extolling Texas, now I'm saying all sorts of sweet things about public policy in Florida. Oh, hell yes, I am running for President!
Jerry: She was lying about my supposedly failing the Oakland schools. I called in the state! I increased charter schools!
Meg: But you promised you'd solve the problem. Politicians must be held accountable for what they say. (Not for what they do.)
Q10: Water.
Meg: Central Valley is remarkable. I've been here before. Water bond!
Jerry: Invest in water infrastructure. I know more about water than you'll ever know. My family has done all of the good that Governors have done about water for 50 years. California drinks Brown water! [Author's update: Yes, I'm totally lying about that last quote.]
Q11: Health.
Jerry: I favor Obama's health plan and jobs and basically I'm a Democrat and can explain why.
Meg: Health care proposal is driving up the cost of small business and that's all that matters. Your responsibility is not to get sick. To bring down the costs, let's bring in plans from unregulated states. And Medicare/MediCal fraud. Silicon Valley! Electronic records -- but not Obama's plan to do exactly that.
Q12: Hey, we may have a budget! How would you prevent future debacles?
Meg: I'd start earlier. This is all due to the time pressure, not due to having a Governor who won't sign anything reasonable. And a two-year budgeting cycle. And let's punish legislators for not giving into the Governor on the budget. Hell, I can go without my salary for a few months if it's late, why can't they? Oh, and I hate people on welfare and public pensions.
Jerry: The budget's a mess. You actually need to work hard on it like an adult rather than wave a magic wand or shout incantations. I've done eight budgets, almost all on time. During my terms, Californians created about 2 million jobs and kept the legislature from going on a spending spree. I would not cut the capital gains tax. I'll cut my budget, other budgets, make tough decisions.
Q13: What three things about your opponent would make your opponent a good Governor?
Jerry: She's smart, she's tough, and she won't tolerate wire coat hangers. So can I talk about me? That would be inappropriate given your question, I guess, so I'll let her talk.
Meg: He loves California, he's a career politician, and he has a nice wife. Now I'm going to talk about me for a minute straight, because I don't care what your question was. I was a frakkin' CEO!
CLOSING STATEMENTS:
Meg: I'm a fan of the Central Valley. Thanks, yoonivizhin! California sucks, and I bring a fresh approach. I will take my experience in the private sector and as a bodybuilder and Hollywood movie star and bring it to Sacramento. I will stay in touch, Latinos! Talk to you in 2014!
Jerry: We're the seventh or eighth largest economy in the world. (Note: he says we're a "country." Oops, no such luck!) My father instilled in me a sense of public service. I didn't like politics, so I went out to be a Jesuit. I finally got the hair right! And I also ...
Moderator: Time's up.
Jerry: I'll tell you about that next debate!
Moderator: Thanks for helping us make history! Vote, everyone!
Meg: Huh -- we'll see about that!
Will Meg's billions best Jerry? You can help even the odds, by donating here!