According to FOX News, the White House communications team is quietly discussing plans for President Obama to hold what is being called a "signing ceremony" in conjunction with signing health care reform into law later this month. The unusual event would likely include members of Congress standing behind the president while he signs the legislation and gives a short speech. Applause and jovial behavior is almost guaranteed.
Republicans wasted no time latching onto the potential "signing ceremony" as another unprecedented tactic, similar to reconciliation and the self-executing rule.
"This is an extraordinary development," whined John Boehner. "Such an attempt to glamorize and publicize the act of signing legislation is an affront to democracy and a threat to our very way of life. Americans understand that this so-called "signing ceremony" would signal that health care reform is a sham."
Mitch McConnell offered a warning to Democrats:
"Members who vote for this bill may find themselves invited to participate in a strange, unconstitutional ceremony at the White House. How will voters react to this kind of theatrical trickery?"
Reacting to Democratic claims that "signing ceremonies" are routine and commonplace, Chuck Todd helpfully explained the situation to MSNBC viewers:
"Technically we've seen these "signing ceremonies" before. But never for such sweeping legislation. So Republicans have a point about this being a very questionable procedure. And they always say "sweeping legislation" so I've adopted it too."
Michelle Bachmann says she's uncovered information suggesting that President Obama plans to use multiple pens to sign the final legislation:
"Our founding fathers never anticipated that a president might enact a law using more than one pen. One pen, one signature. This is a sacred principle and Obama's multiple-pen scheme means we don't have to obey this law."
Lindsey Graham is upset because the White House doesn't plan to invite any Republicans to the signing ceremony:
"Even President Obama has said that health care reform includes Republican ideas. Just because we won't vote for it doesn't mean we're not going to try to take credit for it. Republicans were able to get the Death Panels out of the bill. We stopped the Government Takeover. Six months from now we'll insist that this was our health care reform bill. Just kidding! That would never happen."