This is not my work. It's a Facebook post made by a Wisconsin musician named Matt Turner. It's a wonderfully brilliant piece of work, combining deadly earnest observations with lacerating snark (I won't torture those who think it might be "real"). Here's the link, and a few choice bits are reprinted below the fold.
WISCONSIN MUSICIAN APOLOGIZES TO CITIZENS OF WISCONSIN AND TO GOVERNOR SCOTT WALKER
Wisconsin citizens, my name is Matt Turner, and I am a professional musician (performer and composer) and educator. Ideas recently put forth by Governor Scott Walker and his supporters have made me realize how ignorant and blind I have been regarding my career in the arts. I wish to offer my apologies to the citizens of Wisconsin, to my family, and to my friends. I hope you will forgive me.
I would like to apologize for becoming a professional musician almost 30 years ago when I joined the musicians’ union (AFM) (1). Music was supported in the schools, and Wisconsin was a leader in music education. Little did I know that almost 30 years later, Wisconsinites would finally see the light about having to fork over fourteen cents per Wisconsin resident to support the arts (2). I never would have thought Wisconsin would be at the bottom of the food chain compared to other states with regard to arts funding. I’m now overcome with joy that we are at the bottom, but fourteen cents per person is still way too much money to pay for the “arts”. I’m sorry I took advantage of all the wonderful opportunities offered in our state while I was growing up. What a waste of my time and your tax dollars.
...
Who knows, if perhaps I had spent less time working hard as a young person and had ignored the arts and my school work, I too may have had a shot at becoming governor of Wisconsin.