Sarah Rides Revere Reversed
or . . .
The Half Fast Ride of Paul Revere
I live in Boston, and Sarah stopped here
To expound on the patriot Paul Revere,
The angry sow* from the empty North
Opened her jaw and spewed forth
A salad of words that's in no way clear.
And I just stood there, blinking.
more over the fold . . .
I said to a stranger, "She looks good in red,
But I sat up in school, while she clearly slept.
I've written down all these words she said,
And she's either a nutter or wholly inept!
Paul warned the British our arms were for keeping?
By shooting while riding and ringing a bell?
Waking up every redcoat sleeping?
This is all bass-ackwards as best I can tell!
What the hell is she thinking?!?"
The stranger lowered his Tea Party sign,
Glaring at me with complete disdain,
And told me straight, "We don't like your kind!
Why doncha go back to from where ya came?"
"Oh, you're part of Dick Armey's "Dick Army!"" I quipped.
"A grassroots goober on a Palin date!
A paid patriot! A corporate conscript--
Who will not be voting in my beautiful State!"
Now Sarah was waving and winking.
"She's right as rain," he said with a sneer.
"It's you media types with yer 'gotcha' games
Who haven't got the ears to hear,
And that's why she's right when she calls you lame.
It was 'one if by sea and two if by air'.
See? I heard what she meant to say!
You can't know, cuz you weren't there!
If Sarah said it, it happened that way!"
But I could see his spirits were sinking.
For a couple of days, the whole world laughed,
While Sarah's bus kept rolling,
That Caribou Barbie is oh so daft,
Though she tries to be so controlling.
Until Lo! upon the third day after
She tangled up Paul Revere's scene,
Fox news tried to stop the laughter
By lying through the TV screen.
Or perhaps they'd all been drinking.
Her foxy friends now claim she's right,
That the British ARE whom Paul warned.
For -- technically -- Paul got arrested that night,
And he spoke to those redcoats with scorn,
Saying that force would be met with force
And matters could not now be mended.
But we know what Sarah said, of course,
And the meaning she clearly intended.
So this is just wishful thinking.
Snowjob Squareglasses on a roll,
A paid employee of Fox News.
Lust for fame has stolen her soul,
Like hotel maids have pilfered her shoes.
The Paliban tour has such innocent aims --
A vacation like anyone takes!
But everyone sees through Sarah's games,
And that the whole family are fakes,
And that bus, by now, is stinking.
-- andontcallmeshirley
(offered freely to the public domain 6/6/2011)
*in Alaska, an upset mama grizzly is called "an angry sow."