Everything has something to do with Sarah Palin; just ask her--and the white press corps.
One can hardly blame her raging narcissism alone. I suppose that if the media was twitterpated with my every utterance, I might think of myself as a "queen" or some President-in-exile too. Who knows? It's even theoretically possible that I might get caught with my rearend in the breeze after a tragic massacre puts a lot of light--and heat--on my too-cute-by-half visual aids and wildly inappropriate rhetorical flourish. But "blood libel"? Really? Most of us would consider that semantic bleaching on methamphetamines.
But I'll bet Real Americans heard it as We're under siege! Reload!.
I'm not the first person to wonder what will prompt Sarah's straight-faced characterization of her next embarrassment as a "holocaust." I'm going with failed-presidential-bid, after all insurgents (using their own vernacular) don't have to win, they just have to keep the enemy from winning. We know she can count on heavy backing from right-wing Republicans and the media too.
Why not? It's so easy to feel bad for Sarah Palin. She is, after all, The Sarah--upon whose fate the republic supposedly rests. And we are repeatedly assured there is nothing squirrelly going on with basic premises underlying any of this.
Shhush. Real Americans are talking.
It's incredible, in the strictest possible sense.
(ĭn-krĕd'ə-bəl)
adj.
So implausible as to elicit disbelief: gave an incredible explanation of the cause of the accident.
Astonishing: dressed with incredible speed.
[Middle English, from Latin incrēdibilis : in-, not; + crēdibilis, believable; see credible.]
We know what happens to 30% of the American public when the media doesn't hold their goal in high esteem, like anti-war sentiment in 2003 for instance. It was, by consensus, filed under Unimportant, even Anti-American, Minority by the powers that be and we were reminded that 70% majority support trumps our concerns. Except when it doesn't, like when 72% of Americans supported a healthcare public option. For that matter, not even 95% of Americans can get the media's attention long enough to host serious fact-based discussions about devastating income inequality today.
But this is all water in the Titanic, isn't it? Maybe it's time to let bygones be bygones and realize that being in the minority or the majority that our media doesn't find sexy or macho enough is an exercise in futility. Reality runs from reason in this country and into the arms of sweet, sweet fantasy; that's just the way it is now. Guaranteed.
Now that it's apparent to all sentient beings that this is here to stay, how shall we properly commemorate this momentous shift in American politics and media coverage in the United States? It's got to be kooky, and big. Really big.
In the spirit of compromise (by which I mean the modern usage: "meeting right-wing demands for utter capitulation in order to preserve domestic tranquility") I suggest that the United States must now declare a pre-emptive war of aggression on the Anno Domini dating system and unilaterally change the measure of time.
It will be a glorious war! A singularly exceptional achievement! A true and meaningful testament to noxious self-involvement and our willingness to "create our own reality."
Can't you just see it already?
Former "February 11, 1964" is a forbidden expression of time and shall now be referred to as, "Day One, 1 PP time, in the Year of Sarah." Moments occurring before Day One, 1 Post-Palin (PP) time shall be designated in reverse chronological order in Before Sarah (BS) measure.
But this is too straightforward to capture the schizoid nature of a country foundering without a sensible objective reality today. Therefore, a separate measure of time must also be used.* Former "1986," a likewise forbidden expression of time with no overlapping equivalent to PP time, shall be referred to as, "1 MC, the year of Murdoch's Country." Moments occurring before 1 Murdoch's Country (MC) shall be designated in reverse chronological order in United States (US) measure.
* Henceforth when verbal and written dates are used it is your responsibility, citizen consumer, to correctly discern which dating system applies. This should be no trouble for real American consumers and patriotic consumptives. Rule 01.0001-01 states that the penalties for using incorrect dating systems will be numerous and severe. Rule 01.0001-02 states that the penalty for using expressly forbidden measures of time will be summary execution by a Fox Broadcasting Company on-air personality.
It's offensive, impossibly alienating and it can go on and on feeding the hostility of Real Americans and producing justifications for defense that our media can beat people over the head with for, well, ever.
It's perfect!
Addendum
Henceforth, any written or spoken use of the word "incredible" is also expressly forbidden. See above for applicable penalty, as per Rule 01.0001-02.