You never know what you're going to find when you pop open a newspaper or click on an Internet site.
Today, I saw a headline in my Yahoo news feed:
Federal Agents Say 88-year-old Saratoga Man's Invention is Being Used by Meth Labs
I didn't have to even read the story; I just knew what I would find.
Bob, Bob, Bob.... now what have you gotten yourself into?
Sure enough, as soon as I clicked the Mercury News story, I found it was true.
My old buddy Bob, a mad scientist indeed, has had his garage-operation business shut down because of crankheads.
Bob's violation: He helps keep hikers from getting giardia by selling a water-purification system! His little-brown-bottle $6.50 product, Polar Pure, contains crystalline iodine, however, and the iodine is used by meth labs.
The DEA has told Bob's iodine supplier not to sell him any more of the chemical, effectively shutting down what, at one time, was a $100,000 annual business.
Now, you all don't know Bob Wallace, but I do. He and his partner, Marj, came to our wedding. We saw them last week at an Audubon meeting. We have taken our dog for walks with their dogs. This is a guy who collects used cooking oil from a nearby Chinese restaurant, filters it, and drives his old Mercedes diesel auto on that oil.
He is, let's say, a character, in the finest and best sense of the word. He's a highly educated man of almost 90 who speaks his mind. He's earned that right and he takes advantage of it. So let's hear from Bob himself:
"This old couple, barely surviving old farts, and we're supposed to be meth dealers? This is just plain stupid. These are the same knotheads that make you take your shoes off in the airport."
In response to a state requirement that Bob show them such things as a solid security system for his product, Wallace sent them a photo of his aged dog, Buddy, sitting on the front porch.
"These guys don't go for my humor," Wallace said. "Cops are the most humorless knotheads on the planet."
The story notes that Wallace is not against regulation per se, although he thinks the demand for a customer list is an invasion of privacy and a waste of time. He just feels that the feds should tweak the law to allow distributors to pay a reasonable fee: $10, for example.
While I can see that there is a need to prevent meth labs from operating, perhaps another way can be found to allow Bob and Marj to continue their business. Maybe sales of Polar Pure can be limited to one bottle per person. Maybe Bob can pay the various state and federal fees, but how can he keep track of every customer who buys?
I hope some compromise, some answer can be found.
The world needs more mad scientists like my friend, Bob Wallace.