After my first bout with cancer and stroke, my youngest son helped my recovery by working with me on a book of nonsense poems for children. The results now include over 100 illustrated animal verses which we send to friends and family for birthdays and other celebrations.
Below, find 14 examples of a twisted father's mind and his willing 9 through 12 year old accomplice.
Enjoy!
Excerpts from Animal Nonsense Copyright CJ and James Campbell 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008.
1. Rebel
Meanwhile in the penguin cage
The keeper was out of his head
Cause all of the chicks were black and white
Except one who was yellow and red
2. SSSSSSS
I think Penny would be a good name for snakes
Since they are all just Heads and Tails
3. Naughty Hippo
A baby hippo threw his food on the floor
And drew on the walls with his crayons
His father said “Son, you’re about to receive
A hippopotamus hottamus bottomus.”
4. Christmas on the Veldt
Rudolph the red-nosed rhino
Had a very shiny nose
But behind that nose
Were two giant horns
So the kids were very well-behaved.
5. Stand Aside
The tortoise of Galapagos
Lives for 200 years they say
So that should be plenty of time for him
To get out of everyone’s way
6. Back to the Ocean
They say that Blue whales used to live on land
But they decided to go back to the sea
Probably because they couldn’t find a parking space!
7. Monkey Talk
The first one said “Ooh ooh aah aah,oh ah oh ah ooh ooh”
The second said “Aah aah, aah aah aah, oh oh oh ah ah”
The third one said “Ah ah ah? Ooh ah ooh ah, ooh!”
And the little one said “Eep.”
So they tried again:-
Number one said “Eep eep eep, eep eep eep.”
Number two said “Eep eep eep, eep eep eep?”
Number three said “Eep eep eep, eep eep eep!”
And the little one said “Now you’re talking.”
8. Spare Parts
After cleaning heaven, God had some extra supplies in a box
Being the almighty, he wanted nothing to go to waste
In the box he found a length of garden hose, a feather duster
A small brown rug, 4 forks, a tube of paste
That’s why giant anteaters look like they’re made of spare parts
9. Where Is It?
ABCD octopus?
MNO octopus!
CND rock!
R...IC... a crimson cephalopod
Pic by James
10. Everyone Deserves to be Happy
Happy birthday honey
I have a riddle for you:
“What’s brown and sounds like a bell?”
“Dunnng!!!!”
Pic by James
11. Joanna the Goanna
In the outback of Australia
A lizard named Joanna
Decided to learn music
A very hip goanna
She played progressive jazz
With her sister Hannah
Hannah played the bass
Joanna played piana
Pic by James
12. The Fox and the Fries (CJ’s Fables #4)
A sly and hungry fox was
Feeling very poor
Lying in the grass beside
A fast food restaurant door
A kid came out with a burger
And fries in his grimy paw
When the kid turned around
To take a big swig of his drink
The fox ran off with the fries
And gobbled them down in a wink
Which made him very mad
Since he was a carnivore
Moral:
One man’s meat
Is another man’s french fries
13. Picasso's Dog
Cubist puppy
Barking ear
Eats through nose
Mouth can hear
Pablo never
Saw a dog
He thought his puppy
Was a frog
Pic by James
14. Sugar in Your Tea?
They put camel milk in tea
Under the Saharan sun
And the sugar that they use
Can be two humps or one
Pic by James
Peace children and go to bed
CJ