1742: The Shot Heard Round the World is fired by Betsy Ross at Franklin Roosevelt's tavern in Lexington, New Hampshire.
1776: The Boston Tea Party in tiny Dixville Notch, Vermont, inspires patriots in the 19 colonies rise up against the socialist Nazi tyrant King George III.
1777: Colonial forces under the command of Gen. George Washington carve up the British with semiautomatic weapons to reclaim the Statue of Liberty.
1781: The First Amendment (penned by Jefferson Davis) guarantees the right of wingnut politicians to claim the president of runs a "gangster government."
1782: The Second Amendment (John Quincy Adams) guarantees our right to be "armed and dangerous."
1783: George Jefferson pens the Third Amendment abolishing slavery.
(Illustrated version, satirizing her weekend gaffe in NH)