Tennessee can take some twisted pride in its unique civil servant and native son, the honorable Rep. Frank Niceley. I believe it was Winston Churchill who said,
"It amazes me how some dude can be so wrong, so often, about so much."
Actually that is something of a misquote of Sir Winston. In fact, I have deliberately committed "a Niceley," named for a man now infamous for a recent, an astonishingly ignorant, misquote.
While standing on the floor of the Tennessee House, Rep. Niceley declared,
"Albert Einstein said that a little knowledge would turn your head toward Atheism, while a broader knowledge would turn your head toward Christianity."
It seemed the perfect quote from the perfect man in support of Mr. Niceley's attempt to promote Creationism in Tennessee's public schools - except there were a few small problems in Mr. Niceley's research.
For one, Einstein was a theoretical physicist, mathematician, Jewish and on record as a life-long Agnostic, therefore, not a likely promoter of Christian faith-based omniscience on all things scientific. More to the point, Einstein never spoke or wrote those words. In fact, Mr. Niceley's "Einstein" quote was a poor paraphrase from 15th/16th century philosopher/scientist/jurist, Sir Francis Bacon, who actually said,
"A little philosophy inclineth man's mind to atheism, but depth in philosophy bringeth men's minds about to religion."
All of those bone-dry ineths bring to mind another famous Bacon quote:
"Certainly the best works, and of greatest merit for the public, have proceeded from the unmarried, or childless men."
Sounds like Frank the Elder was ineth to the concept of bachelorhood and chastity as the true road to clear thinking. Perhaps Bacon's own unsatisfying marriage cloudethed his otherwise empirical mind. It seems Mr. Niceley accidentally quoted a man who today would be pro-choice and striking down the "Defense of Marriage Act."
Shocking!
To be fair, Frank the Lesser is no mindless woman-hater. Niceley knoweth that God, or at least the Republican Party, has a plan for the lesser sex. In fact, last year, Niceley supported Tennessee Rep Beth Harwell in her bid for Speaker of the Tennessee House. Why? Because, claimed Frank:
"She's a good-lookin' woman (and therefore) the press will be a lot easier on Beth."
I can hardly wait for the cheese calendar featuring the John Birchettes of the Sequatchie.
But back for a minute to Francis the Elder. During his career as a judge, Bacon was infamous for accepting bribes from litigants appearing in front of his court. This is definitely not the person today's incorruptible public servant would even accidentally want to emulate, unless that public servant happens to be Clarence Thomas or Antonin Scalia.
Yes, Evolution is still referred to as a scientific theory, but like any serious theory in that realm, it's based on a great body of empirical knowledge. Known as the "Father of Empiricism," no doubt Francis Bacon would find modern scientific methodology in support of Evolutionary Theory more compelling than some contrarian Dark Ages hypothesis steeped in hocus-pocus and babble. But it's the word "theory" that appears to give Mr. Niceley cause for disbelief. Of course, the theory that the World is not flat is still up for debate in some inbred circles. While I trust Mr. Niceley will cautiously avoid stepping off into the abyss, I fear Newton's and Einstein's theories on gravitation might encourage Mr. Niceley to jump off a tall building to prove them wrong. For this, and a litany of other good reasons, I suggest he be kept under 24-hour observation.
Mr. Niceley seems most content when pushing his personal beliefs as law, if not good science. Until his recent nincompoopia hit the national wires, Francis the Junior was better known for espousing Birther Madness while on the public's dime. Either Mr. Niceley is sadly among the *10% of Americans who believe Hawaii is, or may be, a foreign country (a further indictment of our educational system), or he believes Mr. Obama was born in Kenya, which is just plain stupid. Having been farm-raised, Sir Francis of Knox County should recognize agricultural waste when he sees it, and certainly when he's the one flinging it.
Side Note: Here's an old but interesting Public Policy Poll from August, 2009:
"62% of Americans think Obama was born here, while 24% think he was not and 14% are unsure.
10% of the country thinks that he was born in Indonesia, 7% think he was born in Kenya, and 1% think he was born in the Philippines.
That leaves 20%, which includes at least some people who correctly believe that Obama was born in Hawaii, but who don't consider Hawaii to be part of the United States. You read that right- *6% of poll respondents think that Hawaii is not part of the country and 4% are unsure.
It's hard to say what the rest of that 20% thinks. We did ask them if they thought Obama was born in France and while less than half a percent of respondents did, two thirds of that remaining 20% said they 'weren't sure' whether Obama was a Frenchman."
Compare the above figures to the most recent PP Poll showing 51% of Republicans who are now sure the President was born in Kenya and an additional 21% who are not sure where he was born. Americans are getting appreciably dumber by the year.
Meanwhile, back to my diary:
Mr. Niceley's apparent educational shortcomings only serve to dramatize the need for more Nationwide attention to Science (not to mention History and Literature) and at least the offering of a short course on the use of Google. For the sake of all Tennesseans, more recess time would also be in order, at least as it pertains to the daily activities of their own legislature.
If the Creationism faithful seriously intend to re-litigate The State of Tennessee v. Scopes, they should invoke the spirit of William Jennings Bryan as their courtroom champion. However misguided Bryan's impassioned arguments in Dayton, his life-long personal beliefs and public actions were worthy of everyone's respect. Despite his role in Scopes, history will forever view Bryan as a great man of the people and an asset to the human race.
How can I say this, nicely?
Frank Niceley is no W.J. Bryan.
And he sure ain't no Einstein.