This community has shown me a lot of love recently and you've been here through the worst, so what better place to come to for advice about moving away? See, I live in south Alabama. As a gay guy in a wheelchair (and, frankly, as a liberal with a brain) I've hated it here for as long as I can remember. My family doesn't accept me and I have no friends. The only person here I really have is my sister, and she has a two year old kid and is understandably busy a lot, so we don't even get to talk that much. And who would want to stay in a place where they're alone and they feel hated? Just practically a few miles from where I live, this happened:
Scotty Joe Weaver (March 26, 1986 - July 22, 2004) was an 18-year-old murder victim from Bay Minette, Alabama, whose burned and partially-decomposed body was discovered on July 22, 2004, a few miles from the mobile home in which he lived. He had been beaten, strangled and stabbed numerous times, partially decapitated, and his body doused in gasoline and set on fire.
The Baldwin County District Attorney David Whetstone stated that Weaver's sexual orientation was a factor in the crime.
This place isn't safe. It's backwards. And I could really list a million reasons all day long why I've wanted to leave. I'm not safe or wanted. I'm not happy. I have zero friends. My family doesn't accept me to the point where my mother has asked me not to wear a rainbow armband around my eleven year old brother, because, I guess, gay is bad so he doesn't need to be exposed to it. Everyone in my family knows about me but hides it and keeps it secret like it's something gross, and I'm supposed to keep it a secret as well. This is not a way for a person to have a happy life.
And my family is way too invasive and creepy. I don't want to get into everything they have done over the years because it gets to a point where it all starts to sound incredibly unbelievable. But I basically got into these apartments without sitting on the waiting list because my mom knew the original owner. But, since mom knew that person, she would call her and demand inspections of my place so that she would have an excuse to "come over and clean" which really meant "go through all my stuff to see if she could find anything bad." She did this when I lived at home, so why not?
In another example of my family's creepiness, my sister was suspected of dating a black guy once (she actually was, and he'd been over to my apartment and was a nice guy, but they didn't know for sure it was happening since they are racist and my sister was scared to tell them) and just because of the suspicion, my mother had her followed by a PI friend. We found out when my mom interrogated my sister over being seen at a gas station in a "black" part of town.
See? Creepy.
I've wanted to leave for years. I've been discussing moving to Chicago since I was eighteen. But it has just never happened. Whether I ended up in the hospital or my friend did or I had my identity and a lot of money stolen from me (which happened once) there was always something to keep me from moving.
But not now. I am going to use the leftover money from the fundraiser you guys did for me to get the hell out of here. So, money isn't an issue (and I'm not asking for any in this post.) I just need moving advice. Not only would I be moving for the first time, but I'm in a wheelchair and I'm only visiting the state and city I'd be moving to for the first time this summer. I know nothing about the area and nothing about moving expenses and nothing about disability and transportation/mobility issues or living arrangements there. But I'm learning more every day and doing research and I know you all probably have a lot of information you could give me.
First, does anyone know about any disability or LGBT support networks I could seek help and advice from?
Second, I wonder about the area. I asked my friend which area would be best so that I'm not too far from a friend there and she said:
portage park / jeff park area preferable
[...]
well as long as you had your truck, one of the burbs around the city wouldn't be bad.. park ridge, des plaines, elmwood park, etc
So what are those areas like? What kind of transportation would I need? Would public transportation get me everywhere I needed or wanted to go or should I keep my truck? Regarding my truck, I'm really not sure what will happen there. I just talked to my mom, again, two days ago about my truck. I asked about getting it in my name. She asked why and I explained that if I wanted to move or drive out of state I didn't want people to think it's stolen. (The implication was 'you're crazy and could report it stolen' but I didn't say that.) She said that nobody would think it is stolen. Then she tried to talk me out of moving, but it didn't work. Then she complained about missing me. So I don't know where we are regarding the truck. In the end she didn't object too much to the idea of me leaving, so it's entirely possible I could take my truck without her getting mad, even if it's in her name. But the opposite could also happen.
To tell you the truth, as a person who's paralyzed from the waist down, I'll already be going into the situation with less mobility than others, and that does scare me. I have less options from the start.
But if it's something I wouldn't need, then do I really need to worry over it?
Regarding housing, when I go visit my friend after Netroots Nation later this summer, one of the things we are going to do is look at low income apartments. I am only on SSI right now, and I don't get a lot of money. I am lucky enough to live in a low income apartment and qualify for some disability thing (I will have to ask the apartment manager exactly what it is that I qualify for here) so that my rent is affordable for someone on SSI. So information about rental assistance and rental assistance agencies would be great. There are a lot more of these types of apartments in big cities, however, so I'm not too worried about finding one. But it would be nice to arrive in the area better prepared so we don't waste our time. I'll only be able to visit her for a few days. She has to work as much as possible and simply can't take off. It would be nice if when I arrived I had a support network and maybe a list of the best apartments, or at least the ones where I wouldn't be stuck on a waiting list for years. And it'd be nice just to have more information about living arrangements there in general, before I arrive. Especially in relation to transportation and distance from urban areas/etc, so I would know where I would be stuck by myself and where I would not be.
A very awesome Kossack is helping me figure out housing issues, and any additional information would make it easier.
One last thing I've thought about is medical care. Right now, I'm on my former stepfather's insurance plan. He works for the railroad and I actually have very decent insurance that has helped me out anytime I've needed it despite the fact that I have a lot of medical problems. But my mother and stepfather are in the process of a divorce which should be finalized at about the time I am on my trip to Netroots Nation. After that, I will only have my Medicaid. I've already talked to the SSI people about it and they told me what to do when I lose the other insurance and how to get set up with just Medicaid. But Medicaid is state-administered, so when I leave this shithole of a state, I'll have to figure out how to make sure I still qualify for and receive it or some other type of health care in Illinois. So if anyone has any information about either the Medicaid program in that state or other agencies I should talk to, that would be great.
I would appreciate any advice.