For those of you who don't use facebook, there's a charming element that I call "having a facebook birthday party". A notification goes out to all your facebook friends, saying something like "today is so-and-so's birthday" with a link to their wall page. Sure, it may be a cheap way to get out of doing something more personal, but for the recipient it's a gas to see birthday greetings all lined up.
Today's notification read: "Exme Arden's birthday".
I didn't do anything, not at first, but it stayed with me all morning. Finally I decided to go wish Kris a Happy Birthday. (This would not be the first time I've talked to her on facebook since she died, so appearing foolish is obviously not one of my concerns.)
I found that others had been there ahead of me, none willing to pretend this was just any ordinary Sunday. So I added my message to Kris' wall, stayed to grieve and remember for a few minutes, and came back to my life.
It's me again, Kris. Today's your birthday, so I know it's a hard, hard day for your girls. Less than a year ago we sat on the floor at NN - you bald, me gimping - and your face lit up while you talked about your birthday and your girls and Michael's wedding. I'd sure like to re-live that day. ♥
It's been a busy Sunday around here, what with laundry and other chores, and storms popping off the Peak, and blue jersey mom's diary for KosAbility. I didn't get back to facebook until this evening, when I decided to visit our exme's wall once more.
I almost wish I hadn't. At first, I didn't even see it. But it's there, amongst the other messages, one simple line from daughter Kyra:
i love you mom and i miss you. happy birthday.
This was not just any ordinary Sunday.