Mitch McConnell is simply shocked that our current administration wants to give foreign fighters a fair trial.
“It’s astonishing that this Administration is determined to give foreign fighters all the rights and privileges of U.S. citizens regardless of where they are captured,” McConnell said on the Senate floor.
McConnell noted incredulously that U.S. counterterrorism officials have read the suspect, Ahmed Abdulkadir Warsame, his Miranda rights and afforded him the legal protections of a U.S. citizen.
But he has no problem playing politics with the debt ceiling, a dangerous game that might lead to a disruption in economic stability the world over. I guess that is ok, I mean maybe it won't lead to global financial system catastrophe. You don't really know until you push it. All the way to the wall.
“Those who are calling for tax hikes as a part of these debt discussions either have amnesia about the fate of similar votes just six months ago — when Democrats controlled both chambers of Congress as well as the White House — or they’re acting in bad faith, since we all know that including massive, job-killing tax hikes would be a poison pill,” said McConnell on Monday from the Senate floor.
McConnell said he plans to ask the president for ideas on how to solve the debt crisis that do not include tax increases. "I intend to ask the president what he’s prepared to do, outside of raising taxes, about the massive deficits and debt that have accumulated on his watch", said McConnell.
Those darned democrats, acting like treating foreign fighters fairly is reasonable behavior when we all know they should be waterboarded and humiliated in all possible ways. Shoot, back in Mitch McConnell's day we updated the Geneva Conventio… wait a minute! Mitch McConnell was Not A Part of that sort of prisoner coddling! Nosir.
But every solid and rational thinking American understands that new taxes are the Spawn of Satan. Because there can be no new jobs when people have to pay taxes on their income! Or Something! And let's not forget to accuse those calling for tax hikes of amnesia because they are clearly forgetting what happened in the fall of 2008 when the entire fucking economy fell, fragged by thirty years of Reaganomics… hold it! THAT WASN'T WHAT HAPPENED!!! Please take this moment to insert your index fingers into your ears and yell "lalalalalalalalalalalalalalala" at top volume while we sort out what did happen because if you look at the numbers, the freaking numbers which DO NOT LIE you see that jobs always increase when the tax burden on rich people and corporations is as low as we can trick American voters into letting us make it… Dammit, GET ME A NEW SECRETARY!!! RIGHT NOW!
(Sorry. I became so outraged that I accidentally started channeling Mitch McConnell's oversoul. It won't happen again.)
In closing I would like to say that many of our fellow citizens are completely anesthetized, walking around in stupor and voting for people who would manufacture false outrage while courting worldwide economic collapse. It is my hope that we stop wiping away their drool and start mocking the hell out of their gullibility relentlessly showing them what reality looks like. Because in the world I want to live in, Mitch McConnell would be pelted with rotten tomatoes every single time he opened his mouth.