I am very large and extremely ugly, I suppose I'm a troll.
My eyes are bulbous and red, I suppose I'm a troll.
My teeth are long and sharp and my breath is rancid, I suppose I'm a troll.
My skin is rougher than sandpaper, I suppose I'm troll.
I am foul-tempered and horribly cruel, I suppose I'm a troll.
I live under a bridge and demand payment from all who would pass, I suppose I'm a troll.
I am very strong, but my wits are dull, I suppose I'm a troll.
I guess you''d better give me the skull and crossbones, kos, because based on everything you just read, you probably think I'm a big, smelly, mean old troll.
7:39 AM PT: Oh, and I hate fairies and elves, yep, you got it, I MUST be a troll.
9:02 AM PT: Thanks to a suggest from clarknt67, I thought maybe I should add a few more characteristics: In addition to being big, ugly and cruel and living under a bridge I also think the austerity measures are counterproductive, opposed going to war in Iraq, believe people who ordered and carried out torture should be punished, think medicare for all is the best solution to our healthcare problems, disagree with portions of the patriot act, am not a big fan of "war on terror", do not approve of the war on drugs, think the MIC is bloated and expensive, don't think rich people and corporations are paying enough taxes, think we need to do more to create jobs, think we need to do more to help the poor, think gender equality still has a long ways to go, think wingers are crazy, think monied interest have too much sway in Washington, think organized labor needs to be strengthened, believe in equality for all, stand up and fight for what I believe in, think Bernie Sanders is a good man and senator, and support the hell out of our President. So, yep, there you have it, I'm a big old messy unwashed troll!