By now, everyone's familiar with S.E. Cupp's praise of Ann Romney's decision to "marry well." In her piece, The Smartest Choice Ann Romney Made, Cupp said:
But while liberal women may praise Ann for (at least) getting herself an education, where is the praise for Ann’s best decision of all — to marry well?
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Because of whom she married, Ann was able to stay at home and raise her family the way she wanted. She was able to support her husband’s ambitions. She was able to afford lifesaving care when she was diagnosed with both multiple sclerosis and breast cancer. And she was able to devote her time to charity.
A society rooted in sexism and patriarchy prefers that women be dependent on men. Cupp herself acknowledges this when she sets up her dichotomy of women being dependent on either a rich husband or the state. Leaving aside the unmentioned possibility of female self-reliance and our society's condemnation of poor mothers, a separate question arises: What does a patriarchal culture think of the woman who marries well?
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"Shadow of a Doubt" (1943).
An easy way to see past the facade of praise heaped upon Ann Romney by the likes of Cupp is to do a quick, even if extreme, substitution of names and public perception. Again from Cupp, with my edits:
But by marrying wealthy, [Anna Nicole Smith] made a truly empowering decision that allowed her the freedom to do whatever she wanted ... And what a catch she found in [J. Howard Marshall], a good ... guy who worked hard to achieve huge success.
But don’t hold your breath for the choruses of “You go, girl!” from the feminists. Apparently, picking a good provider is only okay in political mates, not domestic ones.
I'll grant that the comparison seems ludicrous. Partly that's because Anna Nicole Smith was, well, over the top. But another part is because she was perceived as a gold digger, which is precisely the point. Put differently, Ann Romney is getting the benefit of a hindsight analysis, where we see, 40-some years later, a decision that seems to have worked out well. By contrast, women who are looking to follow the advice of "marrying well" are often perceived as gold diggers.
Patriarchy thus celebrates female dependence even while condemning those women who seek to maximize their own standing within it. But what of the women who make it through this judgment, those who marry well? How many of them, in the words of Joseph Cotten's Uncle Charlie above, would become "these useless women," these "faded, fat, greedy women" or, more importantly, would be perceived as such if we concede that the "empowering" choice for women is dependence on men?
I'm reminded here of what animated Betty Friedan to write The Feminine Mystique. She had noticed that middle- and upper-class women in the 1950s tended to put "just" in front of their roles, i.e., "just a housewife." She observed that women who were living the lives that the larger culture told them was appropriate and most fulfilling for their gender felt empty inside. She discovered what she called "the problem that has no name," the emptiness of compulsory dependence.
Fifty years later, Friedan's housewives may choose to occupy that role rather than having it forced upon them through institutional barriers to anything else. That it's a choice probably makes the role more fulfilling, but dependence is dependence nonetheless. To encourage dependence is to put women at odds with one of America's most-cherished beliefs about itself, that we are a nation of self-reliant, rugged individualists.
The unspoken truth, from the scene in "Shadow of a Doubt" to the Cupp piece, is that self-reliance is the only way for women to break through the barriers of sexism and patriarchy. In the world that Cupp celebrates and Cotten's character assumes, women are neither whole nor individualized. I don't pretend that Cupp was doing anything other than scoring political points any more than I pretend that Hitchcock was presenting a typical man in his film.
But the expressions of each, separated as they are by nearly 70 years, converge toward the same patriarchal conclusion; woman is meant to be dependent and a dependent woman is, ultimately, to be scorned. Ann Romney notwithstanding.
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Update from
Planned Parenthood Affiliates of Ohio on Defunding:
Moments ago, we received assurances that language that would strip funding from Planned Parenthood for family planning health care services, rape prevention programs, breast and cervical cancer screenings, and infertility treatment programs will be removed from the state budget bill, House Bill 487. This change is expected to be voted on during today's Ohio House Finance Committee hearing at 1:30PM.
We will remain vigilant to ensure that once this language is taken out, it stays out.