As featured in two postings on "Progressive Underpants" -- What we Believe: GOP version ...and the rest of us
Republicans Believe...
Republicans believe your privately held uterus must be highly regulated; but...your privately held corporation must not be
Republicans believe pills related to s-e-x for girls are bad, but… little blue pills for boys are very, very good!
Republicans believe Corporations are citizens; but…actual people must first show photo ID
Republicans believe the individual health care mandate infringes on individual freedom; but …it was their idea
Republicans believe privatizing parts of NASA is akin to high treason; but… it was the first thing in history the GOP didn’t want to privatize
Republicans believe the Bush Doctrine is valid; but… cannot articulate what it actually is
Republicans believe President Obama is a Socialist; but…cannot use the term correctly in a sentence
Republicans believe in a literal interpretation of the Constitution; but…most obtain their actual knowledge of the Constitution from “School House Rock”
Republicans believe in school choice; but… not a curriculum choice for science teachers who insist on teaching only actual science
Republicans believe in Life, Liberty & The Pursuit of Happiness; but…only if you are white, male, Christian, born here, Republican, without debt, and working on Wall Street
Republicans believe in fundamental fairness; but...only in theory
Republicans believe the Almighty “called” Rick Perry & Michelle Bachmann to run for President, and told Glenn Beck to leave Fox; but…at this point they are wondering if it was the same guy or if Keith Olbermann punk’d them
...and now for the rest of us...
WE Believe
The Earth is Round
Children should be taught science in science classrooms
Dogs should ride on the inside, regardless how much they shed
It is possible to attack a policy on its merits without attacking the policy maker’s character, intelligence or patriotism
Collective bargaining is necessary, and not just the “Groupon” variety
There is nothing immoral about homosexuality; it is immoral to serve a spouse divorce papers while she is undergoing cancer treatments
Human beings are people, corporations are not
Legislators should write their own legislation to benefit constituents and the greater good, not the members of ALEC
Tanning beds might not be a good thing
Fundamental fairness in the workplace and in the tax code is necessary
The auto industry deserved to be “saved;” the “Real Housewives of…” should be cancelled
We are stewards of this planet; we do not care to relocate to the moon, regardless of how “hip” Sir Richard could make it
US Corporations should hire US workers at a fair wage
Global climate change is real, Flipper the talking dolphin is not
Citizens, without burden, have the right and the responsibility to vote – even in Wisconsin
Women have the right to privacy and must make their own healthcare decisions
The words “Christian Nation” do not appear in our founding documents, despite what the GOP tells you
Corporations should not spend more on lobbyists than they do on taxes
We believe this was all Mitt’s Idea…