It seems, this week, that our Gop'er friends have suddenly realized WHY the "right to bare shoulder rockets and shit that can really, REALLY, kills" is called the SECOND amendment.
It is because.... SURPRISE of all surprises... there was a PREVIOUS amendment to the constitution.
They now learn that this previous Amendment is called the FIRST Amendment and (they think) it has something to do with people being able to say almost whatever shit comes into their mind (they think) and not be silenced by the government (they think).
(Before this moment in time they believed that the Amendment That Came Before The Second Amendment protected Rush Limbaugh's against sponsors leaving him when he said crappy shit about people without penises.
They were REALLY sad when they realized it wasn't true.)
Now, the reason our friends of the perpetual scowl (the country is RUINED, we tell you) have hastily taken notice of this Amendment that they HATED before is because they are now desperately concerned that Dude who Made The "Muhammed Was a Kiddie Fiddler" Video is having his... (wait, which one is it again?!)... FIRST AMENDMENT RIGHTS TRAMPLED UPON.
And the REASON they are so desperately concerned is that if Barak Obama is choosing to trample on the (which one was it again?) First Amendment Rights of the "Muhammed was a Kiddie Fiddler" Video Dude then he is sympathizing with the terrorists!
Go look at... say... Red State (don't really)... where the front page blares...
THE FILM MAKER IS ARRESTED!
...and the 15 blind squirrels who make up the readership of that site are running around ignoring facts and screaming about (wait WHICH one was it?!?) the First Amendment.
Some of them do try to explain to others that A) the "Muhammed is a Kiddie Fiddler" Filmmaker has NOT in fact been arrested and B) the reason he was contacted in the first place was because his probation for wire fraud stipulated he not access (or even have devices that COULD access) the web and uploading a really shitty film to YouTube suggests maybe he done fucked up there. But the others will not listen. They've discovered a new (wait it's NOT new?) Amendment and it is being violated by the Black President who is not Denzel Washington.
And, of course, it's so wonderfully ironic that these people, who heretofore assumed that Constitutional Amendments came only in even numbers, are so in need of ways to attack the President that they have pushed all their chips in for... "Muhammed is a Kiddie Fiddler" Video Guy.
Now, I'm BEYOND amused that it's the "Muhammed is a Kiddie Fiddler" Video Guy that's caused them to discover the Second Minus One Amendment and think it can't be all bad to have them try to wrestle with the whole concept of free speech (yes, THAT's what the First Amendment is about), but I also think it's REALLY important to warn Republicans of just what they're getting into.
See, the First Amendment... that's the Amendment that the ACLU likes to defend.
And that's the Amendment that makes porn... even GAY porn... possible.
And that's the Amendment which inspires the NEA and NPR and plenty of other N's that you're not usually so fond of.
And that's the Amendment that fueled Occupy Wall Street.
And that's the Amendment that contains, well, this.
AND that's the Amendment that protects, say, someone else who chooses to say YOUR GOD is a kiddie fiddler, from retribution from the government.
I just want them to keep that in mind now... in case it comes up again later on the test.