A true story from my past
Join us every Thursday for another short story from a Kossack with a tale to tell, fact or fiction. One which will both inform and entertain.
And join us on Mondays at 5pm Pacific for poetry from the left where we scream our dissatisfaction with the status quo in verse or worse
Peace
CJ
Honkiunybo-san and the Great Englishman
© CJ Campbell March 2012
Hedy is very proud of her English and even more proud of her ability to direct the incoming phone and foot traffic as the new receptionist for one of Hong Kong's most successful consulting firms. She is also a devilish young Shanghainese student eager to show the world that Hedy Ko plays by rules of her own making.
Hedy has become a real favorite with clients. She has a quirky sense of humor and is capable of dishing out as good as she gets from the urbane world travelers who constitute the bulk of visitors who call or come through our doors.
The year is 1973 and Hedy is the receptionist for Spectrum, a Marketing Consulting firm with a Gwei-lo (foreigner) owner (that would be me, a hip hippie of the early 70's)
a staff of Chinese statisticians, psychologists and social scientists (including my wife!) who investigate markets from Japan to New Guinea as international corporations and governments turn their attention to the far East. One such firm manufacturers a popular soft drink and the company has made arrangements to send us 50 cases of product in order to conduct taste testing in Hong Kong.
One morning, early, my phone buzzes, Hedy informs me that a Honkiunybo-san is on line one. I pick up and say, tentatively, since you never know who you are going to hear from, “Hello”.
A voice at the other end says, in flawless Oxford English, “Charles Curtis here, Hong Kong United Bottlers, I have 50 cases of soft drink for you.”
After some discussion about arrangements for picking up and distributing product, I then call Hedy to my office, “Ahh, Hedy, Honkiunybo-san is the name of a company, that would be pronounced 'Hong Kong United Bottlers' and the man who called, his name is Charles Curtis. He will be calling back several times as the project proceeds. You will recognize him by his very English accent.” Hedy is mortified and most apologetic, “I am so sorry, but I will make sure this will not happen again” she replies in her deep gutteral Shanghainese throaty accent.
Now this is a mistake on my part. A big mistake. One of my best friends and a partner in a joint recipe publishing venture is “The Great Englishman” as Hedy likes to call him, a Brit named Dave Perkins.
A couple of days later, my phone buzzes, Hedy says, “The Great Englishman on line one.” I pick up the phone and say “How the hell are you, you great English twit?”
And, yes, you guessed it, “Charles Curtis here, Hong Kong United Bottlers, can we meet, I think I need to meet your receptionist!”
To Hedy's ears, Curtis/Perkins, sound very similar, more similar than I realized until after the event.
When we meet face to face, Charles is half English, half Japanese and he finds Hedy's mangling of the English language hilarious.
So much for understanding of other cultures
And we think we have problems!
Peace
CJ
Footnote: We conducted the taste test to the client's satisfaction and six months later the soft drink company launched the product in Hong Kong. Hedy and Charles continued to joke about the non-existent Honkiunybo-san. They may still be at it for all I know.