Poor little right wingers have much to cry about these days, particularly with the threat of a candidate so out of touch with their base John Boehner is not the only Goposaur who cries himself to sleep at night.
So, in the spirit of cooperation and friendship we leftycommiepinkobleedingheartliberals are known for, herewith are some soothing nursery rhymes to rock the right-wingers into gentle slumber
Little Miss Limbaugh
Accosted a bimbaugh,
Eating blue pills and whey,
Along came the Vice Squad
And busted this Right clod
And frightened his bimbaugh away.
Ride a crock horse to Bainbury Cross
To see Romney lie that he wasn't Bain's boss!
BS on his fingers and fibs on his toes,
He shall hear "Liar!" wherever he goes.
Caymans, Caymans, hide my funds
Get it done by half past one.
Half past one is much too late!
Get it done by half past eight.
Hide in a trust so blind,
Only I will know what's mine.
Old King Mitt
Was a silly old twit,
And a silly old twit was he;
He was caught in a lie,
And his ass began to fry,
So he called for his diddlers three.
Each diddler, he had a diddle,
And a very fine diddle had he;
Twee-deedle-dee-deedle-dee went the diddlers,
But no one is buying,
And now Mitt's crying,
Old King Mitt and his diddlers three!
.......................
Sing a song of secrets,
A pocket full of wry
Four and twenty records
Giving Mitt the lie
When Mitt's files were opened,
The Globe began to yammer -
Wasn't that a dainty dish
To set before Obammer?
Mitt was in his counting-house
Hiding all his bread
Ann was in the horse barn
Shooting up Mister Ed
Their maid was in the garden
Hiding from Immigration
When along came the SEC
And said "Explain this mess!"
..................................................
This little piggie went to Utah;
This little piggie stayed at Bain
This little piggie said "I'm leaving;"
And this little piggie remained,
And THIS little piggie said, "Waah, waah, waah!"
All the way down the drain.
..................................................
Little Jack Boehner
Sat in a corner,
Scratching his useless bum.
He stuck in his thumb,
And sat there looking dumb,
And America passed him by.
Alternative Little Jack Boehner rhyme:
Little Jack Boehner
Sat in a corner,
Scratching his useless bum.
He stuck in his thumb,
Sat there looking dumb,
And said "Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Boo hoo, boo hoo! Chief Justice Roberts is a TRAITOR! I want my Mommy!"
Wee Mattie Drudgie runs through the town,
Upstairs and downstairs in his nightgown,
Rapping at the window, crying through the night,
"Looky over THERE, folks! It's Condoleezza Rice!"
"There was an old woman who lived in a tenement:
She had so many children who want free stuff from the government;
You people'd vote for me if you could grasp my point of view..."
Said Mitt to the audience. Now why'd they start to boo?
................................
There was a crooked mitt, and he went a crooked mile
And hid a crooked fortune in crooked cayman isle,
He had a crooked bain, which outsourced your employment,
And he lived in ten little crooked houses with enjoyment.
A hot wind doth blow,
And there's been no snow,
And what will James Inhofe say then,
Poor thing?
He will sit in a cooler,
Bought by Big Oil moola,
And hide his head under his wing,
Poor thing!
.................................
Diddle, diddle, dumpling, my son Christie
Went to the Shore and got quite fistie,
When some critic made his shorts all twistie
Diddle, diddle, dumpling, plump Chris Christie!
...........................................
Hickory, dickery, schlock,
The pundits ran out the clock;
Upholding Mitt's case
To pretend it's a race,
Dickery, bickery, schlock.
......................................
Birther, birther, shame a pig!
Orly Taitz in a blonde fright wig!
How many smackdowns is enough?
Didn't the court just call your bluff?
...................................
And just to maintain the illusion of bipartisanship:
.
As I was going to St. Ives,
I met a man with seven wives
They might have been Mitt Romney's grammas
But then, they might have been Obama's.
.....................................
Paulie-cat, Paulie-cat, where have you been?
"I've been to caucus, to work behind scenes!"
Paulie-cat, Paulie-cat, what did you there?
"I scooped your delegates, suckers! So there!"
......................................................
Ding, Dong, Bell,
The GOP's in Hell!
Who put them in?
Little Mitty Bain!
Who'll pull them out?
Well, there's some doubt.
.
Oh, what a naughty Mitt was that,
To screw his own best pals, the rat,
They never did him any harm,
But now they wish he'd buy the farm!
revbludge