Full tournament bracket
here.
Welcome to Day 2 of first-round action in the GOP Establishment region. Today, we're completing the first round ahead of this weekend's second-round matchups. You can cast your votes for today's matchups from
this page or follow the direct links in the game summaries below.
You're voting for whoever you think is the best poster child for Republican craziness, however you define it. That doesn't necessarily mean you have to pick the person who's crazier. For example, you might think Herman Cain is more off his rocker than Jim DeMint, but that Jim DeMint is a better poster child because he's got more clout in the GOP and conservative movement than Cain. It's entirely up to you.
With that out of the way, here are the matchups:
- #6 Paul Ryan vs. Newt Gingrich #11: On the one hand, Newt Gingrich once said Paul Ryan's plan to end Medicare as we know was an example of "radical right-wing social engineering." On the other hand, it only took Newt a few hours to realize that not only did he agree with with radical right-wing social engineering, he wanted to put a base on the moon, presumably with the all the money left over from nuking Medicare. Paul Ryan never accepted Newt's moon colony, but he did get the GOP nomination for vice president, and his new balanced budget plan not only repeals Medicare and Obamacare, but increases Medicare taxes to pay for it while simultaneously cutting taxes from nearly 40 percent to 25 percent on the top income bracket. I guess what I'm saying is: this might be a close match! Vote here!
- #3 Karl Rove vs. #14 Scott Walker: Two turds in one matchup with no blossoms to be found anywhere. One of the biggest differences between these two guys is that Rove has been thoroughly discredited everywhere outside the GOP right. Walker, unfortunately, has yet to be unmasked—but if he chooses to run for president and somehow gets the nomination, his day will certainly come. Vote here!
- #7 Mitch McConnell vs. #10 Wayne LaPierre: Wayne LaPierre brings the crazy on gun policy like nobody's business, but Mitch McConnell not only holds his own, as Senate Minority Leader he can be batshit insane on a broader range of issues than LaPierre. Still, there's something special about Wayne's lack of a grasp on reality that should give McConnell a tough fight in this round. Vote here!
- #2 Mitt Romney vs. #15 Eric Cantor: This might be the first time Mitt Romney has been on a ballot since November, but I'm not sure this is an election he'd want to win. On the other hand, this is Mitt Romney, so if he were to win—especially if he won the entire tournament—he'd probably spin it into some kind of big honor. "Look what I built! Take that you lazy bum 47 percenters!" Cantor has a tough task in this round. The issue isn't that he doesn't bring the crazy, it's that no matter how hard he tries, his voice is so damn whiney he ends up sounding more like a cranky baby than an insane Republican hack. I firmly believe this is the reason why House Speaker John Boehner is lucky to have Cantor as his chief rival. Imagine if he could sweet talk the wingnuts like Allen West, especially from a safe district. Republicans would melt in Cantor's hand and Boehner would finally have something to cry about. Instead, Cantor brings it more like Elmer Fudd—and the Orangeman lives to see another day. Vote here!
That's it for the action in the GOP Establishment region. Remember, you can vote from a single page or follow the individual links above. As with yesterday, you've got until about 8:30 AM ET on Saturday to cast your ballot.
You can see the full tournament bracket as well as yesterday's results here.