Can somebody please revive the old "Superstars" sports show and invite all the substance cheaters to compete against each other? Pleeeease.
Michelle Obama just got bangs which means now she’ll listen to indie bands and have her own quirky sitcom on Fox.
Great, tomorrow's Gun Appreciation Day and I just got coffee on my "Obama = Tyranny" muscle tee. FML
You know what will hurt the economy way more than debt? Long-term mass unemployment. Deficits are way less bad than a permanent underclass.
Whiskey and Oxycontin: Because you didn't need that job anyway.
As long as you've smoked enough PCP, it's never too late to have a happy childhood.
Some things you can't say, even to friends. Like "Your sister is a good lay" or "Well, at least your baby has a good personality."
I WILL die on a white floor just to fuck with the chalk outline guy.