Husband of Mary. Carpenter (sort of). Saint. That's pretty much it. A cosmic cuckold and barely that. The Holy Spirit got in first and Joseph had to pretend he was Jesus' dad. I can just see him now thinking, "The kid looks nothing like me. Doesn't even favor his mother much. No one believes I'm his dad. I can't go into town any more. People look at me and laugh. I wish we had stuck with the Bethlehem plan. Stupid stable owner." You really have to shed a tear for Joseph. Alright, Mary is a babe. Anyone can see that. He's not that young himself but he thinks he could make a bid. Mary's folks - well who knows - they don't really get a mention - there's Ann, of course, what that's all about no one knows. I think Ann is the kind of person that always seems to know what's going on before everyone else. "Reagan was just shot 30 min ago." That kind of person. You know the kind. But, Joseph? He's the last to know. I often wonder if he was ever really aware of what was going on. Maybe he just kidded himself into thinking that he did have a great night with Mary. He was just too drunk.
I mean, if you were married to Mary, you'd probably drink too. Have you ever wondered why, at the marriage feast at Cana, they run out of wine? Are you really suggesting that Mary lacked the ability to plan a wedding? I think she went down to the cellar and checked the drink supply only to find a lot of empty amphorae. Joseph! That drunk! She goes to her son and says, "Jesus! We are out of wine...again...if you know what I mean and I think you do." Jesus, being Jesus, nods. Sure he knows. But did he ever take his dad aside and say, "Joseph. Joe. Dad. Look I know this is a tough deal for you, meaning you have to pretend that you're my dad and all when we both know that I am the Son of God and will end up the most wretched of men and die on the cross. OK, so I suffer incredible agony. That's OK. I took that on being Messiah and all. But, you just get parked in the corner as a kind of extra in this cosmic drama. I just want you to know that I totally appreciate what you are going through. To me, though, you'll always be my dad. OK?" Do you think Jesus ever said that to Joseph? What's weird is that Joseph just disappears from the Gospel when Jesus is a baby. Even when he turns up in the Synagogue as a kid teaching the Rabbi's, no one asks, "where's his dad?" Joseph, as far as the Gospel is concerned is dead.
And yet, and yet, Joseph turns up as Saint Joseph. Why know one knows. You might as well have the donkey that carried Jesus through the streets of Jerusalem be a Saint. That's all Joseph was, a kind of cosmic mule. So after all that, where does Saint Joseph's day - his one special day - end up? Two days after St. Patrick's Day! Who thinks about poor old St. Joe when we have the green and the bagpipes and whiskey and the parades to concern us? Even after death, long after death, poor old Joe is screwed over again. All I can say is the man must be a saint.