You might be aware that Fox News' Eric Bolling made a giant horse's ass of himself on Tuesday by claiming that the invasion of Iraq was the smartest thing that George W. Bush ever did as President (see this diary for a better overview), which either meant he was paying Bush a compliment or insulting him in the worst way. ("Dude, you screwed up in Iraq, but it was far better than Katrina or your Social Security privatization plan.") But that, it turns out, was only a portion of the stupidity spewed from Bolling on Iraq. There was this reasoning on why the Iraq invasion was such a super-awesome idea.
"We had to take Saddam Huessin out," he added. "We had just been punched in the face with 9/11, the Afghan War was starting up, we had to do what we did."
Right. So Bolling's reasoning for invading Iraq is along the lines of a kid who gets punched in the face by the bully and then turns around and whales on some other kid just because he's there. That's about as bad as Donald Rumseld saying Iraq was a better choice than Afghanistan to invade because
Afghanistan had a lack of shit to blow up.
But is that the stupidest thing Bolling said? Hell no. Get a load of what he said about the first Iraq war (you know, the one run by the Bush who knew what he was doing?):
Bolling, a co-host of Fox's evening program "The Five," began by establishing the premise that late Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein "was a bad guy" who had openly threatened to invade Kuwait in 1990.
Openly threatened? Um, if "openly threatened" means "launched a full-scale invasion, seized Kuwait and declared it Iraq's nineteenth province," then yes. But I doubt he meant that.
Wait, someone tried to help our confused pundit, to no avail.
Co-host Bob Beckel then pointed out that Hussein did launch an invasion and occupasion of Kuwait in 1990 of Kuwait, a correction that annoyed but didn't deter Bolling.
Of course not. And be prepared, because this next paragraph is as epic a case of verbal stupidity and historical ignorance as I have ever seen, even from a Fox News blowhard.
"No, he didn't go into Kuwait," Bolling said. "He lined them up and then we went and did Desert Storm and stopped him. He lit the Kuwaiti oil fields on fire, but he didn't ever actually go into Kuwait to try and take the country down. He never got there. He decided to light the oil fields on fire."
I have no words.
Okay, wait, I have a question. If Saddam never went into Kuwait, then HOW DID HE LIGHT THE KUWAITI OIL FIELDS ON FIRE?!!! Did he get a bunch of Iraqi college students drunk, tell them they were doing the biggest prank possible and send them across the border one night with some lighters? Or did he actually have pyschic powers and will the KuwaitI oil fields to explode like Carrie White at her prom?
And call me wrong, but I do seem to remember this announcement at the start of Desert Storm declaring "the liberation of Kuwait has begun." Which, I might add, was on January 16, 1991, over seven months after Iraq invaded and occupied the country in August of 1990.
I swear, does Roger Ailes require all his employees to undergo full-frontal lobotomies as part of their job training program? I don't know what else can explain such thunderous stupidity. And on the first Iraq war, no less, which doesn't need the world's greatest spin job to make it seem like a success. (Well, at least the goal of kicking Saddam out of Kuwait. I don't think the Kurds would agree it was.)
Feel free to watch here and laugh at Bolling. Because with moments of epic stupidity like this, laughter and mockery is the only option.