From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
A Governing Body That Ain't Broken
New Zealand, I think I luv ya. Given what a fuck of a week this has been, consider this a Weekend Moment of Zen:
Yknow, that gives me an idea for a new reality series: Government Swap. New Zealand gets ours for ten weeks and we get theirs for ten weeks. Have fun grappling with the filibuster, Kiwis, and we'll have fun actually getting stuff done.
P.S. I second OPOL's sentiments: Happy Ben Masel Day.
Your "Why the hell are you publishing Cheers and Jeers on Saturday?" edition of Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!]...RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Friday, April 19, 2013
Note: ELEVATOR BROKEN. PLEASE USE WICKER BASKET ATTACHED TO STRING AFTER LEAVING EVERYTHING TO ME IN YOUR WILL. ---Mgt.
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#1 in the AL East
I smell a pennant.
By the Numbers:
Days 'til the start of the Memorial Day weekend:
35
Days 'til
Blacksburg Fork and Cork in Virginia:
7
Boston Red Sox position in the AL East:
#1
Cost to go to a New York City plastic surgeon for a "royal rhinoplasty"---a nose that looks like Princess Kate's:
$12,000
(Source: Time)
Portion of all North American internet traffic accounted for by streaming videos from Netflix:
1/4
(Source: Harper's Index)
Amount fetched for the 300 year-old 34.6 carat
pink Princie Diamond at auction:
$39.3 million
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Puppy Pic of the Day: In Boston, the comfort dogs do what they do best…
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CHEERS to closure. Four days after deciding it would be cool to blow people up during an international family fun day, the Boston Marathon bombers have been, shall we say, ejected from the bombing business. Kudos to the local, state and federal law enforcement juggernaut for neutralizing the threat. Besides great respect for them and relief that it's over, I have just a couple extra thoughts based on what I saw yesterday:
On the committee that's supposed
to keep America safe.
Basically what happened yesterday morning in the Boston area was: police told all the good guys with a gun to stay locked in their houses until the smart guys with tanks, body armor and state-of-the-art intel could catch the bad guy with a gun. I expect Wayne LaPierre to announce a whiner-complainer press conference any moment now.
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Anyone who thinks the Second Amendment exists so that people can use their pop guns to overthrow our "tyrannical" government ("watering the tree of liberty with the blood of yadda yadda yadda...") should take a good look at the firepower on display yesterday. A really good look. I think there's videotape available.
Oh, and also this realization that hit me: Michele Bachmann is still a member of the House Intelligence Committee. Okay,
now I'm a' scared.
P.S. Via twitter:
Red Sox said Neil Diamond flew himself to Boston today, called them at 12:30 p.m. and said, "Hey, I'm here. Can I come sing?"
The answer: sure! And
it was 'Sweet.'
CHEERS to money in the bank. Did you see the sky open and hear the angels sing Thursday? Me neither, but "Tax Freedom Day"---the day on which Americans have earned enough to pay off their tax obligations for the year---came and went anyway. The next financial milestone arrives when Americans earn enough to pay off their credit card debts. "Plastic Freedom Day" will arrive on... [flip flip flip flip] ...December 31. 11:59pm, to be precise.
CHEERS to a fine day for a good thumpin'. On yesterday's date in 1775---a day after Paul Revere & Co.'s famous ride---our War of Independence began with a brief skirmish at Lexington, an engagement at Concord's North Bridge, and guerrilla warfare as we chased the redcoats…(Really, guys ? Red? As in, bright red? Lemme guess: your uniforms were designed by a committee)…back to Boston:
When the minutemen ran out
of bullets, they hurled pies.
Because the Americans never formed a firing line the inexperienced British had little to shoot at. This style of flanking and shooting from behind trees, walls etc. destroyed the British morale, and they broke ranks while retreating towards Lexington. The British suffered badly, nearly 20 percent casualties, but more importantly, this action led to the siege of Boston and the start of the Revolutionary War.
And today we're still fighting wars. Against the Taliban, women, Easter, religion, secularism, fast food, guns, drugs, freedom, terror, lady parts, education, capitalism, culture, liberals, conservatives, Hispanics, blacks, gays, Grandma, the 99 percent and the 1 percent. Oh…and Christmas. Can’t forget the war on Christmas, right Fox?
CHEERS to a gathering of trouble. There were, I think, five Kossack meetups around the country today, and one of them was right here in the tony hamlet of Portland, Maine. Our host, nhox42, has posted a great photo diary here. I'll have a little more Monday, but for now I'll just say: if they ever add a chair-throwing event to the Olympics, we're gonna win in a walk.
The Field of Empty Chairs at
the Oklahoma City Memorial.
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JEERS to the number 18. As of yesterday that's how many years it's been since Timothy McVeigh parked a truck bomb in front of the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City. The explosion killed 168 people and injured hundreds. We hope you'll pause a moment today and
pay your respects here. One person who couldn’t find the time is Ann Coulter---she's too busy
writing "jokes" like this:
"My only regret with Timothy McVeigh is he did not go to the New York Times building."
Republicans love her because she's their deep thinker.
CHEERS to tea with Mum. Tomorrow is Queen Elizabeth II's birthday. Absolutely bloody astoundin' that she's been on the throne for my entire 48 years plus the previous twelve. Oh, and before I forget: we took a vote and agreed that you should be the one to spank her 87 times. Cheerio, and enjoy your stay in the Tower dungeon!
CHEERS to home vegetation. If you're looking for something besides non-stop post-bomber-catching coverage on your TV machine this weekend, here's some ideas. New DVD releases include Django Unchained and a doc I've been waiting to see about openly-gay New Hampshire Bishop Gene Robinson, Love Free or Die. The baseball schedule is here. (The Red Sox "flushed" the Royals…Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!!!) On 60 Minutes: serial killer nurse Charles Cullen. And Sunday at 8 on Discovery, Robert Redford and Dustin Hoffman chat about the making of All the President's Men to mark the Watergate scandal's 40th anniversary.
On Bill Moyers & Company: biologist, mother and activist Sandra Steingraber "explains why she was willing to go to jail for blocking access to the construction of a storage and transportation facility involved in fracking." And here's your Sunday morning lineup, which will be all Boston all the time:
Meet the Press: Sen. Dick Durbin (D-IL) and Rep. Mike Rogers (R-MI); NBC’s Justice Correspondent Pete Williams and former Director of the National Counterterrorism Center, Michael Leiter; roundtable with bomb experts Doris Kearns Goodwin, Tom Brokaw, Jeffrey Goldberg, Peggy Noonan and Michael Chertoff.
This Week: Rep. Bennie Thompson (D-MS), Sen. Dan Coats (R-IN), former counterterrorism czar Richard Clarke and David Remnick of The New Yorker.
Face the Nation: Fear, fear and fear will be discussed by Tom Ridge, Rudy 911, Tom Coburn and Rep. Mike McCaul (R-TX)---Republicans one and all. The gun vote gets aired out by Neil Heslin, father of six-year-old Jesse Lewis, Erica Laffety, daughter of Sandy Hook Principal Dawn Hochsprung, and Carlee Soto, sister of teacher Vicki Soto.
CNN's State of the Union: Sen. William “Mo” Cowan (D-MA); Chairman of the Homeland Security Committee Rep. Mike McCaul (R-TX), former Congressman & 9/11 Commission member Tim Roemer, former U.S. Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, and former FBI profiler Candice DeLong on the national security implications.
Sen. Chuck Schumer (D-NY) & Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC) also join us to discuss what comes next.
Fox GOP Talking Points Sunday: Senate Intelligence Chairwoman Dianne Feinstein (D-CA) and Representative Pete King (R-NY); roundtable with Bill Kristol, Jane Harman, Michael Hayden and Juan Williams.
Do yourself a favor: Sunday morning, just go take a walk. And hug people.
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Six years ago in C&J: April 19, 2007
JEERS to the state of Maine. Next week the New Hampshire legislature will pass a civil unions law and Governor John Lynch will sign it. That'll make my state the last in New England without either civil unions or outright marriage for same-sex couples. As goes Maine so goes the nation, my ass...grumblegrumble... [4/19/13 Update: Today every New England state but Rhode Island has legalized marriage equality. As Maine goes so goes the nation---whoopie!]
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And just one more…
CHEERS to Evolution Man. Charles Darwin---the poster child for the theory of evolution---started out as a single wriggly cell in 1808, evolved into a fully-grown human being, and died on yesterday's date in 1882. His legacy is always worth revisiting:
True Fact: Darwin was
a popular mall Santa.
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Influenced by the ideas of Malthus, he proposed a theory of evolution occurring by the process of natural selection. The animals (or plants) best suited to their environment are more likely to survive and reproduce, passing on the characteristics which helped them survive to their offspring. Gradually, the species changes over time.
[T]he logical extension of Darwin's theory was that homo sapiens was simply another form of animal. It made it seem possible that even people might just have evolved---quite possibly from apes---and destroyed the prevailing orthodoxy on how the world was created. Darwin was vehemently attacked, particularly by the Church. However, his ideas soon gained currency and have become the new orthodoxy.
Of course, there are some organisms that demonstrate evolution in reverse. Like
dust mites. And the Republican party.
Have a nice weekend! Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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