From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
All I Need to Know About Life I learned from Star Trek
With the new Trek flick out today in the U.S. (it's getting boffo reviews and you can count mine among them), it seems like a good time to review:
And when driving the Enterprise, remember
Rule #1: Grind it 'til ya find it.
• Seek out new life and civilizations.
• Non-interference is the Prime Directive.
• Keep your phaser set on stun.
• Humans are highly illogical.
• There's no such thing as a Vulcan death grip.
• Live long and prosper.
• Having is not so pleasing as wanting; it is not logical but it is often true.
• Infinite diversity in infinite combinations (IDIC).
• Tribbles hate Klingons (and Klingons hate Tribbles).
• Enemies are often invisible -- like Romulans, they can be cloaked.
• Don't put all your ranking officers in one shuttlecraft.
• When your logic fails, trust a hunch.
• Insufficient data does not compute.
• If it can't be fixed, just ask Scotty.
• Even in our own world, sometimes we are aliens.
• When going out into the Universe, remember, "Boldly go where no one has gone before!"
Also: don’t fuck around with the transporter---it's
not a toy.
Your west coast-friendly edition of Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Friday, May 17, 2013
Note: Hi, this is Note. I'm not here to inform you of anything at the moment. But if you'll leave a note at the end of this note, I'll be happy to return your note on Monday. Thanks!
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til the summer solstice: 35
Days 'til the California Festival of Beers: 7
Estimated taxpayer cost of all the GOP's Obamacare repeal attempts in the House of Representatives: $55 million
(Source: Think Progress)
Number of minutes devoted to passage of gay marriage bills on, respectively, MSNBC, CNN and Fox News over the last three weeks: 50 / 4 / 1
(Source: Equality Matters)
Rank of Jacob, Mason and Ethan among most popular baby names for boys: #1, #2, #3
Rank of Sophia, Emma and Isabella among most popular baby names for girls: #1, #2, #3
(Source: Social Security Administration)
Number of viewings on You Tube of Space Oddity performed by astronaut Chris Hadfield from the International Space Station: 13,017,217
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Puppy Pic of the Day: By popular demand, C&J's yellow lab mix, Haley, just shy of six months (taken Wednesday 'round lunchtime by Michael). She has Dobby ears:
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CHEERS to green shoots. Lost amid all the non-scandal hubbub this week was some decent economic news (except in Europe, where austerity still has the continent---big bully Germany excepted---contorted in financial pain and misery for the fifth year in a row). Some headlines that popped up this week:
Eh...it beats a
handful of mud.
Falling gas prices lead inflation lower for second month
Home builder confidence rebounds as sales improve
Detroit dominates new car quality survey
Restaurant sales at all-time high as recession fades
Higher retail sales show vein of strength in the economy
Twinkies back on store shelves in July
Oh, and this:
Bernie Madoff can't sleep. Good.
CHEERS to Lucky Number 7. That's Congressman Ed Markey's current lead in the latest PPP poll over his scandal-plagued Republican challenger in the Massachusetts race to fill John Kerry's old Senate seat. The previous poll released 14 days ago had Ed up by four. So, according to some back-of-my-cocktail-napkin math, if he continues at this pace unti the June 25 election, he should be ahead in the polls by…[scribblescribblescribble]…82 points. I'd stake my reputation on it, but I seem to have lost it. Mind if I borrow yours?
JEERS to the gate to end all "…gates." Since 1973, we've had Iran-Contragate, Travelgate, Monicagate, U.S. Attorneygate, Plamegate and, in the case of the Obama administration as seen through the right-wingers' lens: "Day-ending-in-y-gate." But the big kahuna of gates got underway 40 years ago today, when the televised Watergate hearings began. I remember them well, mainly because my mom watched every second of them and they pre-empted my afternoon cartoons:
Watergate hearings chairman Sam
Ervin was a bulldog...and a hoot.
A month after the televised hearings, which started May 17, 1973, an astonishing 97 percent of Americans had heard of Watergate, according to the U.S. Senate website. And 67 percent believed that President Nixon had participated in a cover-up of the 1972 break-in at the Democratic National Committee headquarters at the Watergate office complex in Washington. Nixon never confessed and declared that “I have never been a quitter” right before he did just that.
To commemorate the event, Fox News spent the day putting a "D" after Nixon's name.
JEERS to being up to our gills in grief. The man who popularized fish sticks has died. True fact: E. Robert Kinney was originally from Maine. You might say he was born and breaded here:
I qwestion dis spokespootie's authenticitee.
"While I wouldn't say he invented the fish stick, he certainly led Gorton's during a period of time when the fish stick became an established convenience food for consumers in the U.S.," said Paul Coz, vice president of human resources Gorton's Seafoods.
Kinney grew up in Pittsfield, Maine, graduated from Bates College in Lewiston, Maine, and started a canning business called North Atlantic Packing Co. that grew out of his experience seeing lobster fishermen discarding crabs. He offered the fishermen a penny for each crab and started a canning business.
He'll be laid to rest next to a bowl of tartar sauce. Among those expected to boycott his funeral: fish.
CHEERS to home vegetation. Plenty on the tube to distract us this weekend. On HBO's Real Time tonight, Bill Maher shares snark and snickers with Michael Moore, Zach Galifianakis (who lit up a joint last time he was on), Richard Haass, S.E. Cupp and Aaron Ross Sorkin. New DVD releases include Cloud Atlas and the 800th remake of Texas Chainsaw Massacre. The baseball schedule is here. (The Red Sox will "separate" the Twins from victory Ha Ha Ha!) The NHL schedule is here and the NBA playoff bracket is here. "Orb" the old gray mare goes for jewel #2 in the Triple Crown tomorrow---post time for the 138th Preakness is 6:20 ET. SNL wraps up its season with host Ben Affleck as several cast members (Meyers, Hader, Armisen) head for the exits. On 60 Minutes: attempts by Afghan boys to escape to Europe (with mixed results).
The continued daily poisoning of Americans by the chemical industry is the subject on Bill Moyers & Company. And, purely for comic value, here's your Sunday morning lineup:
Meet the Press: David Gregory will bend down and wash Donald Rumsfeld's feet as he begs him to impart words of Very Serious Wisdom, but not before bowing down and washing Mitch McConnell's turtle shell while begging him to impart words of Very Serious Wisdom. Rep. Dave Camp (R-MI) watches in wonder. Obama senior advisor Dan Pfeiffer tries and fails to avert his eyes and turns into a pillar of salt.
This Week: Dan Pfeiffer; Sen. Rob Portman (R-OH), Rep. Tom Price (R-GA), Rep. Charlie Rangell (D-NY) and Sen. Bob Menendez (D-NJ); roundtable featuring participants not worthy of mention.
Face the Nation: Dan Pfeiffer (I'm sensing a pattern here); Sen. John Cornyn (R-TX); Rep. Jason Chaffetz (R-UT); head of the Associated Press Gary Pruitt.
CNN's State of the Union: Pfeiffer!!!!!!! Plus Rand Paul and a roundtable featuring participants not worthy of mention.
Fox GOP Talking Points Sunday: Dan Pfeiffer demonstrates how President Obama is "reeling from the shock of three scandals" (Fox's words) by not reeling from the non-shock of three non-scandals; Rep. Paul Ryan of the House Ways and Means Committee demonstrates that his ways are mean; roundtable featuring participants not worthy of mention.
And finally, a
Game of Thrones SPOILER ALERT: the AP goes ballistic when it's discovered that the sheriff of Winterfell has been monitoring their carrier-raven messages. Happy viewing!
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Five years ago in C&J: May 17, 2008
JEERS to emptying the well. The Senate overwhelmingly passed a "moratorium" on topping off the tank of the Strategic Petroleum Reserve. The chamber says we shouldn’t start refilling it until oil prices drop to $75 a barrel. In other words, the Strategic Petroleum Reserve is about to become the world's largest skateboard park.
JEERS to appalling apparel. Barack Obama has pledged to close the Guantanamo torture prison (slogan: "We do waterboarding right!") when he becomes president in eight months and five days. But he might not want to be so hasty. Check out the shirt this jackass designed and tell me you wouldn’t be tempted to send him to Cuba:
Oh yeah, I forgot. Freedom of speech. Crap.
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And just one more…
9 years of marriage equality in
Massachusetts. And counting.
CHEERS to Adam and Steve & Adele and Eve. Today I am proud to wish same-sex spouses in the commonwealth of Massachusetts a Happy Anniversary…with
vigah! The first "I do's" were exchanged there
nine years ago today---long before they were green-lighted in California. And Vermont. And New Hampshire. And Iowa and Connecticut and Rhode Island and Washington and Minnesota and Delaware. And Maine. Also too Rhode Island and D.C. and Maryland. And soon in Illinois and Oregon. Probably New Jersey, too. As if that's not a sweet enough note to end the week on, here's
this:
Former Vice President Walter Mondale and former Massachusetts Governor Michael Dukakis told ThinkProgress this week that they support marriage equality. With their endorsements, every living former Democratic presidential nominee [and also recently-deceased 1972 contender George McGovern] is now on record in support of same-sex marriage. Every other living Democratic nominee had previously made their support explicit.
Our party has a lot of freakin' problems. But our party also freakin'
rocks.
Have a great weekend! Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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