From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
It Rubs the Crazy On Its Skin
Yesterday I learned from the conservative movement that lifting the ban on federal recognition of same-sex couples who have entered into a civil contract granting them certain legal rights via the purchase of a license from their state government…
Relax, wingers. It's
just a confetti cannon.
Made Jesus weep
Was an act of tyranny
Rewarded corruption
Declared war on freedom of religion
Took us a step closer to a second civil war
Is a tragedy
Is America shaking its fist at God
Emits a stench
Makes us no longer a republic
Is proof that lefties hate their fellow Americans more than they hate our enemies
Wait, there's more…
But what about the four
straight women who were
allowed to marry a pig?
Was about nothing but annoying conservatives
Is just a shiny new toy
Has brought on dark clouds
Frees mobsters to celebrate anus worship…
…and marry one or more goats
Makes "poofters and lezzies" our equals
Is causing civilization to erode...rapidly!
Green-lights gays to go to churches with lead pipes and demand marriage
Is fascism against cake makers, florists, and photographers
And, of course, the court is "shoving gay marriage down our throats." The right-wingers sure do love to use that phrase.
Anyway, my point is: having taken time to digest the reaction to yesterday's Supreme Court rulings, this morning I'm feeling really grateful. Specifically, grateful to conservatives. For reminding me once again why I'm a liberal.
(Comments found via Hunter, Good As You, Joe My God and the Michelle Malkin blog, which oops I'm forgetting to link to. Platonic, non-sexual hat tip to the first three.)
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Thursday, June 27, 2013
Note: Here's the posting schedule for next week: Monday through Wednesday will be the usual piffle. Thursday we'll step into our solar-powered wayback machine for the annual reading of the very first C&J from July 4, 1776. Then we're taking a couple days to recharge the single AAAAA battery in our head, so no C&J on Friday or Monday. Back on Tuesday, July 9. Please adjust your space-time continuums accordingly.
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til Independence Day: 7
Days 'til the National Cherry Festival in Traverse City, Michigan: 2
Current consumer confidence score, the highest since January, 2008: 81.4
(Source: The Conference Board)
Sales of new homes in May, up 29 percent from a year ago: 476,000
(Source: Commerce Dept.)
Number of U.S. regions that are expected to be cooler than average this summer: 0
(Source: National Climatic Data Center)
Estimated net worth of new Commerce Secretary Penny Pritzker, making her the 277th-richest American: $1.85 billion
(Source: AP)
Hours without sitting, drinking or bathroom breaks that Texas state Senator Wendy Davis filibustered for Tuesday to stop an anti-abortion-rights bill: 11
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Your Thursday Molly Ivins Moment:
The anti-choice crowd have every right to make their arguments, but I think they are being used. Ditto the people who think gays are an abomination. I do not think the Christian right is driving what is happening in this country politically, nor is it even an equal partner with economic fundamentalism. There's a large extent to which the Christian right is being played for a bunch of suckers by country club conservatives who are interested in nothing more than their own pocketbook.
---From Who Let the Dogs In? (2004, Random House)
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Puppy Pic of the Day: On our puppy Haley's holiday wish list---an iFetch. (I think I want one, too!)
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CHEERS to the verdict from Mom and Dad. One of the most influential groups in the fight for LGBT rights is PFLAG, which is made up primarily of supportive parents who don’t particularly care to see their LGBT kids treated as second-class citizens. It's the group Michael and I always walk with in the annual pride parade here, and I've been writing their monthly newsletter for 16 years. Point being, I'm happy they're happy with yesterday's court rulings:
Supporting their LGBT family
members and friends since 1972.
“Today, committed and loving LGBT couples and their families, friends and allies in California and across the country celebrate a huge step forward towards full acceptance and equality,” said PFLAG National Executive Director Jody M. Huckaby. “The Supreme Court’s dual rulings affirm what we at PFLAG have always known to be true: that life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness are fundamental rights for all Americans, and that denial of those rights seriously harms LGBT people and their families.”
“PFLAG National and its vast chapter network will continue to move hearts and change minds to win full marriage equality at the federal level and in more states, and to grow support among the majority of Americans throughout the country. Together, we will continue to affirm the message that, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity, love is love, family is family, and marriage is marriage.”
And that's that.
CHEERS to blowin' this popsicle stand. President Obama and the First Lady strapped on their jetpacks and rocketed to Africa yesterday. (Travel time: 23 minutes.) Here's the schedule for today:
Of course I know where
Senegal is. It's right here.
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√ On Thursday morning, President Obama takes part in a formal arrival ceremony in Dakar, Senegal.
√ President Obama participates in a bilateral meeting and joint press conference with President Macky Sall of Senegal.
√ President Obama participates in a meeting with regional judicial leaders on rule of law at the Supreme Court in Dakar.
√ In the afternoon, President Obama tours the Maison Des Esclaves (Slave House) Museum at Goree Island.
√ President Obama drops by a civil society event at Goree Institute.
√ In the evening, President Obama participates in an official dinner with President Macky Sall of Senegal.
I love Michelle, but I'm glad she joins her husband sometimes on overseas trips. It's nice having a few days every now and then when I can loosen my belt and let my gut hang out without feeling guilty. I'm not very good at Let's Moving. I think it's a situps allergy.
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Gong! Gong!! BuddaBuddaBudda… GONG!!!
This is another edition of The One Word Answer Man. Caren Bohan at Reuters asks: Can Paul Ryan sell immigration reform to conservatives?
No.
Now back to Cheers and Jeers.
Gong! Gong!! BuddaBuddaBudda… GONG!!!
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True Fact: Maine's governor
gets reimbursed for mileage.
CHEERS to stopping a no-good horrible kamikaze governor. There's been a big budget showdown here in Maine. The Cliffs Notes version: GOP
Governor Vaseline vetoed an imperfect but thoroughly bipartisan budget, preferring to shut down the government rather than allow Democrats---who control both chambers of the legislature---to get a millionth of one percent of what they want. But even the Republican lawmakers, who have been upholding Vaseline's other vetoes all session, knew their political fortunes would circle the drain if they went along with him on this. So yesterday they
overrode his veto. He loses a big one. Thought that'd make you smile.
CHEERS to workin' on the wire without a net. On June 27, 1846, New York and Boston were linked by telegraph wires for the first time ever. Unfortunately people kept tripping over them, so the following week they invented the telegraph pole.
JEERS to crocodile tears sautéed in butter, cream and several cups of self-pity. Yesterday disgraced celebrity chef Paula Deen went on The Today Show and, in a tear-filled mea culpa, rebuked her past racist remarks by exclaiming, "I is what I is." And in other news, Paula Deen's contract has just been severed with The Grammar Channel.
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Five years ago in C&J: June 27, 2008
JEERS to the sanctity of...whaaaaa??? Do not adjust your screen. Your eyes are not deceiving you. This headline is real: Larry Craig and David Vitter co-sponsor Marriage Protection Amendment. It's a simple, straightforward, seven-word piece of legislation: "Erase Mrs. Craig's and Mrs. Vitter's memories."
CHEERS to losing the faith(ful). Interesting report from Ohio that suggests John McCain's awkwardness with evangelicals---and Barack Obama's ease in front of them---could turn the state blue in four months:
"I don't know that McCain's campaign realizes they cannot win without evangelicals," said David Domke, a professor of communication at the University of Washington who studies religion and politics. "What you see with McCain is just a real struggle to find his footing with evangelicals."
Perhaps he might get back into their good graces if he'd start his stump speeches with something besides, "This is the church, this is the steeple, open the doors and see all the human ATMs...I mean sheeple....I mean
people, goddammit! I mean, shucks!" Or maybe he should just stick to sucking up to lobbyists.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to comeuppance. Posted without comment except to say I support heterosexual love in all its strangeness:
Er...mazel tov?
Have a nice Thursday. If your comments are not germane to the discussion you will be asked to step away from the lectern. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
U.S. moves one step closer to Civil War---SCOTUS strikes down Cheers and Jeers
---Freedom Outpost
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