The patient chisel works,
a tap or two or three,
slicing, biting clean cuts.
A smooth notch, a square tenon.
Brass fits without gaps.
The fools I've known
flailed with hammers in a hurry.
They struck hard to pound the nail,
splits and dents be damned.
No waiting for clamps and glue.
You may have noticed,
this poem isn't really about cabinetry or carpentry.
Craft and patience are not only for those with calloused hands.
A steady hand, a sure eye, a plan in mind
will bring you to a love for the wood, the words, and the canvas.
No rush, just dip in your brush and begin.
If you want to write poetry, but can't seem to get started,
look below the impressionist cheese-doodle.
Log on with your username and password.
Look at the upper right of the page.
Under your username it says "Diaries New . Drafts"
Click on New
Never mind the title box.
It is only there to give you writer's block.
In the "INTRO" box type the last word or object you saw on something that wasn't a computer screen. (A book, a newspaper, a bill, a grocery receipt, a street sign.
I wrote a poem once that was inspired by the word "rinse" on the washing machine.)
Example: "rabbit"
Line 1: Include the word in a sentence or short phrase that pertains to yourself.
"The rabbit saw me and froze,"
Line 2: Add one statement that tells how you feel about it.
"I didn't mean to frighten him." or "Stewed rabbit is tasty." or perhaps "I want to have seven babies at once."
Lets go with the first one.
Line 3: Add another line that tells how you feel about Line 2. with physical and/or emotional details
"But I was happy to get a look at his shining eye and twitching ear."
Add more lines to fully explain your feelings about the object.
(Grouping the lines into stanzas helps to organize your thoughts and makes it easier to read.)
The rabbit saw me and froze.
I didn't mean to frighten him,
but I was happy to get a look at his shining eye
and twitching ear.
I envied his freedom
to run where he pleased,
eat whatever grows between his feet,
and be a metaphor for rampant copulation.
Now change gears a bit. How do the lines you have written make you feel about how you and the object fit into a larger world or world-view? Tell us about it.
Now go back over your poem and find a word or phrase that gives us a brief idea of the whole. Put this phrase in the title box.
Here's the finished poem:
A Metaphor for Rampant Copulation
The rabbit saw me and froze.
I didn't mean to frighten him,
but I was happy to get a look at his shining eye
and twitching ear.
I envied his freedom
to run where he pleased,
eat whatever grows between his feet,
and be a metaphor for rampant copulation.
But I am not a rabbit or a goat.
I have a family,
a reputation in a small town
and a wife who loves me dearly.
She will not eat grass
or stand for any old-goat foolishness.
I made my choices and they work for me.
But fare thee well, Mister Bunnyrabbit.
I was a bright-eyed, twitchy-eared fellow once.
Free to be eaten by cats.
Free to be hit by an Oldsmobile.
Your shiny eye will not lead me astray again.
Have fun with it, pour out your feelings. Sex sells, but keep it classy.
Check for typos and spelling errors, click publish.
If nobody reads it, well, hell, it's not like you haven't pissed away an hour on the internet before.
In the "EXTENDED (OPTIONAL)" box, you might post a picture of pooties, woozles, or Giles Goat Boy:
So this image hits on two out of three. I call that a win.
Anybody who posts pornographic haiku in the comments will be copied and pasted.
Also appreciated are quotes from Groucho Marx' autobiography, Memoirs of a Mangy Lover.