Some say Memorial Day started off after the civil war as a day to remember the men and women who died serving our country in the armed forces. It was called Decoration Day and graves were decorated, mostly with flowers. Fellowship was a big part of the day and picnics were had.
The focus however was about memorializing those who had died while in the military.
Arlington National Cemetery - getty images
By the late 1950’s and early 1960’s the holiday seemed to have become more about remembering anyone who had died.
I think my father may have taken me to the cemetery where my mother was buried a few times but what I remember most was the trips with my grandfather. He took me to some small towns somewhere in Michigan (I have no clue where) to visit the gravesites of his friends and family.
No one I knew but I liked hanging out with my grandfather. We always stopped at the same diner and had these giant roast beef sandwiches for lunch. Thick slices of homemade bread; one on the bottom, then sliced roast beef and gravy, another piece of bread, a huge dollop of mashed potatoes and more gravy. Yum!
I was 8 years old, what can I say? That’s what I remember about Memorial Day.
Now days it pretty much marks the beginning of summer, sales in most stores, grilling with family and friends or vacation. I wonder how many people visited a cemetery today or thought of a loved one that has passed?
I was hoping we could do that here tonight. Remember those we have lost to cancer. People AND pets.
For me that’s only two. My mother died of leukemia when I was 7 and she was maybe 30. Seems like it would be sad and at the time it was but looking back I think it probably saved my life. My mother was a horribly abusive woman and if she were alive today I might not be. Memories aren’t always good.
My other close up and personal experience with death and cancer was my cat Stuff. Most of my cats have lived to be 19 and died of renal failure. Stuff got cancer of the mouth when he was 11. They thought he had 6 months to live but he died 2 months later.
My boy Stuff
That is a very sad memory. I cry thinking of him now. He was a feral cat that I rescued and tamed. In the beginning he did a funny thing when he was done being petted. He would grab my hand with both paws. I then had a choice of keeping still and being bitten or trying to pull my hand away and being clawed.
I chose the bite every time. He grew out of that as he came to trust people more and more. I miss him and don’t need a special day to remember him or any of my other pets who have died. Today though, as I have cancer on my mind, it’s a special remembrance of him.
Please join me here tonight in memorializing your loved ones that have been lost to cancer, no matter how many legs they may have had, it’s hearts that count.
Monday Night Cancer Club is a Daily Kos group focused on dealing with cancer, primarily for cancer survivors and caregivers, though clinicians, researchers, and others with a special interest are also welcome. Volunteer diarists post Monday evenings between 7:30-8:30 PM ET on topics related to living with cancer, which is very broadly defined to include physical, spiritual, emotional and cognitive aspects. Mindful of the controversies endemic to cancer prevention and treatment, we ask that both diarists and commenters keep an open mind regarding strategies for surviving cancer, whether based in traditional, Eastern, Western, allopathic or other medical practices. This is a club no one wants to join, in truth, and compassion will help us make it through the challenge together.