There is this 'great reveal' scene in one of the Star Wars movies (Empire strikes back), when Darth Vader finally tells Luke Skywalker the truth:
"I am your Father."
This deeply stirring news, still failed to persuade Luke to join the "Dark Side" however.
I kind of know how Luke feels ...
Iyanla's Letter for Fatherless Sons: A Call to Action for Fatherless Sons
by Iyanla Vanzant, oprah.com -- 05/02/2013
[...]
When a boy doesn't have a father to show him the way, he can never be quite sure about the manhood things he needs to know. He's never really clear about how strong is strong enough, how soft is too soft, or how much doing and giving is enough, from a man's point of view. A boy needs a man to teach him how to push forward and when to pull back. A man can demonstrate to a boy when to stand up—and for how long.
When a boy doesn't have a father to guide him, he's not sure when to speak up or when to shut up. A man who did not have the input of a father is never quite sure about what other men will think about what he has to say. When a boy doesn't have a father to show him the way to being a man, he's never quite sure who a man is or what a man does. [...] What does a man do? How does a man handle turmoil in his mind or heart?
When a boy doesn't have a father, he grows up never feeling quite sure about himself, his life and what is expected of him. He may overcompensate, undercommit and, in some cases, just give up rather than fail. He may grieve silently what he missed and what he may be missing. He may quietly long for the love of a father. He may believe he lacks that special something that makes him worthy of love.
[...]
Get resources for fathers and support for fatherless sons: Oprah's Lifeclass
The Fatherless Generation
from thefatherlessgeneration.wordpress.com
Statistics
* 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes (US Dept. Of Health/Census) – 5 times the average.
* 90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes – 32 times the average.
* 85% of all children who show behavior disorders come from fatherless homes – 20 times the average. (Center for Disease Control)
[...]
Census Fatherhood Statistics
* Children with involved, loving fathers are significantly more likely to do well in school, have healthy self-esteem, exhibit empathy and pro-social behavior, and avoid high-risk behaviors such as drug use, truancy, and criminal activity compared to children who have uninvolved fathers.
* Studies on parent-child relationships and child wellbeing show that father love is an important factor in predicting the social, emotional, and cognitive development and functioning of children and young adults.
* 24 million children (34 percent) live absent their biological father.
[...]
There is this 'great resolve' scene in one of the Star Wars
movies (return of the Jedi), when Darth Vader finally tells Luke Skywalker as he is dying,
that Luke was right about him (that there
still was some good left in him {
Anakin Skywalker}).
To which Luke tries to assure him, his regretful and dying Dad:
"Father, I won't leave you."
This deeply stirring confession, failed to prevent Anakin's/Darths' "ultimate fate" however.
I kind of know how Luke feels ... (maybe, sort of)
Me, my Father took his own life (when I was 19) due to a broken and under-funded health care system, plus depression, and a surplus of alcohol; AND the very easy access to spontaneously buy guns. At the drop of a darker-than-normal impulse.
The 'Dark Side' took him too, well before his time ... Just.another.grim.statistic.
I've been over/under-compensating ever since ...
"James ... you are your own Father now; try to accomplish more than he never did ... try to make a difference ..." (were the dying words, he never told me.)
Talk about your impossible goals. Yikes! When that 'circle of life' get broken, before its time ...
"His leaving wasn't about you. It was about him."
--
14 Takeaways for Fatherless Sons -- from Iyanla Vanzant, 5 of 14.
It's an epidemic that affects millions of Americans.