This came to me the other night, and I had to write it down. I had originally thought of it as "The Gun Fetishists' Psalm," and then "The Ammosexuals' Psalm." And then a friend suggested re-naming it as shown above: The AR23 Fully Automatic Psalm.
Not sure if it is really a "diary" but hope it's acceptable to share.
My Gun is my shepherd; I shall not want.
It maketh me strut down WalMart aisles
It leadeth me into Chipotle
It restoreth my (non-existent) manhood
It leadeth me in the paths of selfishness for the NRA’s sake.
Yea, though I create a valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil, for my gun is with me.
Its barrel and its trigger comfort me.
It prepares a target before me in the presence of Gunsense Moms.
It occasionally goes off unintentionally in my pants.
Surely bloodbath and slaughter shall go before me all the days of my life,
And I will create gun manufacturer profits forever.