From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
I feel pretty and witty and...oh, what's the word?
Pearls of wisdom as we head into the last weekend of Pride Month 2014:
“I was born of heterosexual parents. I was taught by heterosexual teachers in a fiercely heterosexual society. Television ads and newspaper ads [were] fiercely heterosexual. A society that puts down homosexuality. And why am I a homosexual if I’m affected by role models? I should have been a heterosexual. And no offense meant, but if teachers are going to affect you as role models, there’d be a lot of nuns running around the streets today.”
---Harvey Milk
"Stonewall wasn’t really the beginning [of the LGBT rights movement], but it was a wonderful rebellion. Until then, people who wanted to march and protest did it very carefully in proper suits and ties, and the women dressed in dresses. You were asked to leave if you hadn’t come dressed properly. But, they existed. And they cared.”
---Edie Windsor, who won her case against DOMA one year ago yesterday
Rick Santorum still has a Google problem. And he always will. Because Santorum's problem ultimately isn't Google, or me, or my readers, or Frothy Mix. Rick Santorum's problem is Rick Santorum.
---Dan Savage
“Gay people are born into, and belong to, every society in the world. They are all ages, all races, all faiths. They are doctors and teachers, farmers and bankers, soldiers and athletes. And whether we know it or whether we acknowledge it, they are our family, our friends, and our neighbors. Being gay is not a Western invention. It is a human reality."
---Hillary Rodham Clinton
"Well, gay people are evil, evil right down to their cold black hearts which pump not blood like yours or mine, but rather a thick, vomitous oil that oozes through their rotten veins and clots in their pea-sized brains which becomes the cause of their Nazi-esque patterns of violent behavior. Do you understand?"
---Mr. Garrison, South Park
"I was traveling in Tennessee and I saw a bumper sticker I'll never forget. It said, HOMOSEXUAL: Every Good Southern Family Has One."
---Former New Hampshire Bishop V. Gene Robinson
It's been a good month. Same time next year?
Your west coast-friendly edition of Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Friday, June 27, 2014
Note: Great news! This morning's lottery was a rousing success for the community. Our thanks to the late Tessie Hutchison and the townsfolk for upholding our motto: "Lottery in June, corn be heavy soon." (And don’t skimp on the butter, ha ha ha.)
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Tomorrow!!!
By the Numbers:
Days 'til the Netroots Nation convention in Detroit:
20
Days 'til the
California Beer Festival in Novato:
1
Length of Massachusetts' now-unconstitutional abortion clinic buffer zone:
30 feet
Length of the Supreme Court's still-constitutional buffer zone:
300 feet
Average health insurance premium via the ACA in the USA and Maine, respectively:
$82, $99
(Source: HHS)
Percent chance that the break-in at the Virginia Governor's office by two goons from the General Assembly is "unacceptable":
100%
(Source:
Gov. Terry McAuliffe)
Height achieved by the
World View Voyager "space tourism" capsule during a recent test launch from Roswell, NM:
120,000 feet
World Cup Soccer
Freedom 3 Tyranny 1
Paper 2 Plastic 2
Pele 800 Baby in Stroller 6
Stephen Hawking's Brain 200 Trillion Sarah Palin's Brain 0
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NEW! Michele Bachmann Departure Countdown
Michele Bachmann and her googly eyes leave Congress in 190 days. Good thing, because when you've lost the fawning support of Neil Cavuto, you've overstayed your welcome.
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Yes
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CHEERS to presidential towel-snapping. Barack HUSSEIN o'BUMMER, his agenda hampered by the least-productive Legislative branch in history, is casting off his kid gloves and calling out Republicans in Congress for what they are---cowards:
Also not a scientist.
In a speech to [the League of Conservation Voters], Obama suggested Republicans were playing dumb on climate change to avoid a backlash from ultra-conservative Tea Party elements. Republicans actually recognised climate change was real, Obama suggested, but were afraid to admit it in public.
"They ducked the question and said, 'Hey I'm not a scientist,' which really translates into 'I accept that manmade climate change is real but if I say so I will be run out of town by a bunch of fringe elements…so I'm just going to pretend, like, 'I don't know…I can't read.'"
One group that's grateful, however, to know that Republicans in Congress are not scientists: scientists.
If you wish to "counsel" the Supreme
Court, you may do it from here.
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JEERS to double standards. Protesting politicians? You'll have to stand way over
------------> here behind the buffer zone. Protesting Supreme Court decisions? You'll have to do it from way back back back back
------------> here behind the buffer zone. But if you want to protest---i.e. spit and shout and snarl and show you're legally brandishing a gun as you condemn women entering a health clinic as murderers on a one-way trip to hell, you can
doitthisclose. That was the decision of the Supreme Court yesterday, as it
unanimously cleared the decks of buffer zones at abortion clinics (including here in Portland, where we had 30-foot ones in place). I'm sure municipalities will figure out a way to once again keep "sidewalk counselors" close enough so they can still pray for women, but far enough away so they can't prey on them. In the meantime, I
------------> protest.
CHEERS to promises revisited. Lest we forget, at 10:07am on this date two years ago the Supreme Court---including John Roberts, whom the right immediately branded a traitor---ruled that the Obamacare mandate was constitutional on "taxing authority" grounds, not Commerce Clause grounds. And that means it's time for our annual reminder that America's #1 blowhard is a little closer to being forced to make good on his blood oath:
Happy rowing, Rush.
Rush Limbaugh, March 2010: "I'll just tell you this: if this passes and it's five years from now and all that stuff gets implemented---I am leaving the country.
I'll go to Costa Rica."
Obamacare
is being implemented, and more successfully than anyone imagined. And Limbaugh has nine months to build his ark. But we're keeping a rubber raft on standby, just in case.
Or as Maine's Governor calls
her: Jane Carole MOOCHER!
JEERS to today's boring correction. Maine Teapublican Governor Paul LePage's office released
this press release earlier this week that tried to puff up our state's dismal personal income numbers (39th nationally, dead-last in New England) by re-labeling Social Security and Medicare as "welfare, pure and simple." When Mainers rightly erupted in outrage, LePage's defenders set up a buffer zone to defend him by
blaming liberals for quoting him in context. But now, in an embarrassing flip-flop, Governor Lunkhead's office now says that, no,
of course Social Security and Medicare aren't welfare! And this, of course, means that Maine's personal-income numbers under LePage are back to being dismal---39th in the nation and dead-last in New England. And I believe that sound you hear is LePage's re-election handlers locking him away in an undisclosed location until after November.
The Stonewall Inn. Now
a national landmark.
CHEERS to the other American revolution. On tomorrow's date in 1969, customers at a Greenwich Village gay bar---
the Stonewall Inn---decided they'd had enough police harassment for one lifetime. So they got mad as hell, tipped over a police car, hurled some rocks and gave new life to the gay rights movement. As the deputy police inspector said: "For those of us in [the] public morals [division], things were completely changed ... Suddenly they were not submissive anymore." And here we are, 45 years later, and those aging protesters in New York now have the right---state
andfederal---to take their fights where straight people have waged them for eons: the institution of marriage.
(Actual size)
CHEERS to Ol' Shortypants. James Madison, who at 5'4" holds the distinction of being the U.S. president with the lowest center of gravity (but not the lowest IQ---that honor goes to Bush, Jr.), died in Montpelier, Virginia 178 years ago tomorrow. He was the chief architect of the United States Constitution, and he's no doubt rolling in his grave over the GOP's manhandling of it. The book
Rating the Presidents (a survey of 700 historians) sums up his legacy as one of "courageous leadership as president, guided by the principles of the Constitution, which he played so large a part in framing. All Americans owe him a great debt of gratitude." Pay
your respects here. But don't call him short. Touchy subject.
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McKellan and Jacobi star in
"Vicious" Sun. night on PBS.
CHEERS to home vegetation. If you need to head inside to beat the heat, here are a few odds and ends that might show up on your TV this weekend, starting tonight with Chris Hayes, Rachel Maddow, and HBO's
Real Time, where Bill Maher's guests are Joy Reid, Bobby Ghosh, Andy Dean, Dr. Martin Blaser and author Max Brooks. New
DVD releases include the Criterion Blu-Ray edition of The Beatles'
A Hard Day's Night, the cop brother vs. thug brother actioner
Blood Ties, and the squee-worthy all-star cast (Telly Savalas! Karl Malden! Michael Caine! Sally Field!) of
Beyond the Poseidon Adventure. The baseball schedule is
here ("The Red Sox will go through the Yankees like crap through a goose!" ---Patton), and World Cup info is at the
evil FIFA site. (The USA takes on Belgium Sunday.) Sunday night you might want to check out a sitcom---yes,
sitcom---called
Vicious, about a couple nelly old British queens played by Ian Mckellan and Derek Jacobi. I'm laughing already. And after that: John Oliver on HBO!
On Bill Moyers & Company, journalist Charles Lewis of the Center for Public Integrity on the sickening collusion between media and government when it comes to our lovely little wars. And here's your Sunday morning lineup. Let's count the number of guests they've booked who were hawks (disgraced) or doves (vindicated) in the early years of the Iraq war:
Face the Nation: Sens. Joe Manchin (D-WV) and hawk John Barrasso (R-WY); former U.S. Ambassador to Iraq James Jeffrey; roundtable with hawks Peggy Noonan and Michael Gerson, along with Dee Dee Myers, Michael Crowley (Time), Margaret Brennan (CBS), Clarissa Ward (CBS) and Todd Purdum (Politico). Hawk/Dove Index: 3/0
Bubba meets the press.
Bama meets George
Stephanohmygodhisname
issofreakinglongjeeeeeez.
Meet the Press: The Bubba Strikes Back! Bill Clinton---a hawk on Iraq before he was a dove on Iraq, oy---delivers a strong left hook to Dick Cheney's jaw and demonstrates why he'll be kryptonite to Republicans if Hillary decides to run for president. Other than that, I'm not sure who's on because they haven't updated their website. Hawk/Dove Index: 1/1
This Week: Iraq dove President Obama wooooo!!! Hawk Rep. Peter King (R-NY); roundtable with hawks Bill Kristol and Matt Dowd, doves Donna Brazille and Katrina van den Heuvel, plus Terry Moran; filmmaker Stanley Nelson on his documentary "Freedom
Summer." Hawk/Dove Index: 3/3
CNN's State of the Union: This week it's Candy Crowley's turn to babysit hawk Rep. Mike Rogers (R-MI) while wife Kristi goes shopping; Hawk Rep. Darrell Issa (R-CA) wonders why all the slime he flings at Obama ends up on his own face; North Carolina congressional candidate Clay Aiken (D); roundtable with Neera Tanden, Stephanie Cutter, Mattie Duppler and Liz Mair. Hawk/Dove Index: 2/0
Fox GOP Talking Points Sunday: Hawk Rep. Bob Goodlatte (R-VA), Chairman of the House Judiciary Committee and dove Rep. Xavier Becerra (D-CA), Chairman of the House Democratic Caucus; former CIA and NSA Director hawk Michael Hayden; roundtable with Julie Pace, Kirsten Powers and hawks Karl Rove and Brit Hume. Hawk/Dove Index: 4/1
Thirteen hawks, five doves. It's 2003 again, everybody! Happy sleeping in.
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And just one more…
Best...babysitter...EVUH.
CHEERS to the Greatest Moment in World History. Earlier this year a curious documentary filmmaker
supervised a dig at a New Mexico landfill for bajillions of unsold "E.T." video game cartridges that Atari had unceremoniously buried there in the wake of seeing it tarred as the "worst video game of all time." I grew up with the bleeps and bloops of Atari games ringing in my ears, and to this day I see a shadow image of their iconic graphics every time I blink. Atari marked its first full day as a company 42 years ago today, and for that my inner geek thanks founder Nolan Bushnell (who waxes nostalgic in this summer's
Video Games: The Movie.) My first addictions on this wacky planet, besides candy cigarettes and
Hogan's Heroes, were
Missile Command, Battlezone and
Asteroids, each following Bushnell's formula of being "simple to learn but impossible to master." They retain their simple elegance and pulse-quickening qualities four-plus decades later. Go ahead...
knock yourself out. Time spent with an Atari classic will
not be deducted from your lifespan.
Have a great weekend! Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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