Today, a child is being sexually abused.
Today, a child needs your help.
Eight suspected paedophiles arrested in North Wales as part of massive police operation
Texas man gets 25 years in day care abuse case
Claremont woman gets 25 years for sexually abusing toddlers
Two North Devon arrests during internet child abuse operation
Underage girls traded for food on remote British islands, according to leaked report
British police arrest 660 suspected pedophiles
Alleged Pittsfield child rapist may get 50 years
Headlines - every day they are filled with stories of child sexual abuse and pedophilia. These stories aren't from the last month or week, these stories are from the last 2 hours. And they will soon be replaced by other stories of child sexual abuse and pedophilia.
Statistics
In the US, it is estimated that 1:4 girls and 1:6 boys are sexually abused by the age of 18.
90% by someone they know
68% by a member of their own family
Statistics also show that most victims of childhood sexual abuse never tell...
So why do we struggle as a society to address this prolific issue?
For both the accused and the abused, the stigma of child sexual abuse is untenable. It is a title that neither want, and once given, feel neither can escape -
PEDOPHILE
VICTIM
And for the surrounding families, there is tremendous collateral damage, particularly when the abuse is intrafamilial. Sides are chosen - Lines are drawn -
Who do you believe?
The Victim?
Or the (alleged) perpetrator?
Dr. Judith Herman writes, in her book, Trauma and Recovery:
"...when the traumatic events are of human design, those who bear witness are caught in the conflict between victim and perpetrator. It is morally impossible to remain neutral in this conflict.
It is very tempting to take the side of the perpetrator. All the perpetrator asks is that the bystander do nothing. He appeals to the universal desire to see, hear, and speak no evil. The victim, on the contrary, asks the bystander to share the burden of the pain. The victim demands action, engagement, and remembering. . . .
In order to escape accountability for his crimes, the perpetrator does everything in his power to promote forgetting. Secrecy and silence are the perpetrator's first line of defense. If secrecy fails, the perpetrator attacks the credibility of his victim. If he cannot silence her absolutely, he tries to make sure that no one listens. To this end, he marshals an impressive array of arguments, from the most blatant denial to the most sophisticated and elegant rationalization. After every atrocity one can expect to hear the same predictable apologies: it never happened; the victim lies; the victim exaggerates; the victim brought it on herself; and in any case it is time to forget the past and move on. The more powerful the perpetrator, the greater is his prerogative to name and define reality, and the more completely his arguments prevail.
The perpetrator's arguments prove irresistible when the bystander faces them in isolation. Without a supportive social environment, the bystander usually succumbs to the temptation to look the other way."
Secrets/Silence
Child sexual abuse only exists in secrets and silence. It is what pedophiles rely on. They don't abuse children in the light of day, in public places, in plain sight. There is typically...
No doctor's report
No DNA evidence
No witness
No contemporaneous reports
NO VERIFIABLE PROOF WHATSOEVER
"Pedophiles know they don't have to keep their victims quiet forever, just long enough to run out the clock"
If reported, it is the word of a [then] child versus the word of an adult.
This raises the issue of
credibility - in many cases, victims of child sexual abuse continue to abuse themselves through self-destructive behaviors (alcohol, drugs, illicit sex) that undermine their credibility if and when they decide to pursue legal action. Victims/Survivors are also faced with statute of limitation issues, often not coming to terms with what happened to them as a kid until it's too late.
Who would you believe?
How do I make them understand, I was a kid...you were a man...