From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
The Week Ahead
Monday For his ninth-from-last show, Stephen Colbert broadcasts from Washington D.C., where he interviews President Obama. Or as Colbert says, "I'm so honored to sit down with the man who sat down with Bill O'Reilly."
During day two of their visit to New York, Prince William and Kate Middleton watch the Brooklyn Nets play the Cleveland Cavaliers. Most excited about it: the kiss-cam operator.
Tuesday The House Oversight Committee grills Obamacare consultant Jonathan Gruber over his comments saying Democratic healthcare legislation relied on "the stupidity of the American voter or whatever" to get passed. Specifically, Chairman Darrell Issa will lay into Gruber for having the gall to steal that tactic from the Republican playbook.
Wednesday
Tonight's Mega Millions jackpot is worth $91 million. Please: have a snowball's chance in hell responsibly.
Wednesday Today is International Human Rights Day. As usual: plenty of humans, not enough rights.
The House Select Committee on Benghazi meets this morning under the watchful fauxhawk of chairman Trey Gowdy. With every accusation having been debunked by previous Republican-led House committee reports, the proceedings are pretty much limited to
banging gavels and shouting "Benghazi!"
Thursday Today's the day America runs out of money. On the bright side, chickens and baked goods will become legal tender.
Retail sales for November are posted. If they're lower than expected, Fox News will find a way to blame President Obama for jeopardizing the economy. If they're higher than expected, Fox News will find a way to blame President Obama for jeopardizing the economy.
Friday The University of Michigan's consumer sentiment index shows a healthy bump from "nonchalant" to "holly jolly."
Ridley Scott's new movie Exodus: Gods and Kings opens today. To make the story of Moses more appealing to modern-day conservative audiences, all the plagues are caused by gay marriage.
Plus, of course, the usual blacks getting shot and arrested more than whites, but only because more of them are overweight and have asthma. (Source: Republican Congressman Peter King, a leader of our exceptional nation.)
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Monday, December 8, 2014
Note: To the gentleman passenger on the bus Friday who loudly gave out his credit card information over the phone: Thanks---I love my new Hammacher Schlemmer blimp.
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23 days!!!
By the Numbers:
Days 'til Festivus:
15
Days 'til the ninth annual
San Diego Tango Festival:
23
Children worldwide who have died since 2000 because they didn’t have access to basic toilet facilities:
10 million
(Source: WHO/UNICEF)
Median age in the U.S.:
37.5
Median age in Maine:
44
(Source: Census Bureau)
Estimated reduction in deaths from hospitals errors, thanks largely to new Obamacare-related financial incentives:
50,000
Estimated reduction in hospital-related infections between 2011-2013:
1.3 million
(Source: HHS)
Totally Random NFL Score
New England Patriots 23 San Diego Chargers 14
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Your Monday Robin Williams Moment
[Mimicking Sarah Palin]: "I know about Russia because I can see it from my front yard! Well, I can see San Quentin from my house, but that doesn't make me an expert on prison reform."
"When the media ask George W. Bush a question, he answers, 'Can I use a lifeline?'"
"What kind of food did we drop on Afghanistan? Pop-Tarts, peanut butter...just add a Honey Baked Ham and you've got a redneck Christmas."
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Puppy Pic of the Day: They grow up so fast.
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CHEERS to starting your morning off with a "Ch'ching!" I'm under no illusion that our economy is where it should be this far beyond the Great Bush Recession. But here's a collection of headlines---collected over the weekend---you won’t find in virtually any other country these days:
And guess who got $10
for winning second place
in a beauty contest?
• Economy adds 321,000 jobs in November
• Best year for jobs since 1999
• Fewer Americans filing unemployment claims
• Who's hiring in the U.S.? Almost everyone
• Exports rebound
• Freddie Mac reports mortgage rates dropping
• Strong economic reports bump stocks to new highs
• November vehicle sales up five percent
• Steep drop in oil prices is blessing for most
• Consumers more comfortable increasing use of credit cards again
And this:
Amazon Is Butting Into the Diaper Business. Dear headline writer: Holiday bonus approved.
CHEERS to words that matter. Listening to the Very Serious (and Very Privileged) People tut-tut the disruptive tactics of the "Can't Breathe" and "Hands Up Don’t Shoot" protest movement is a little depressing, seeing as they should (and probably do) know their history of cultural change a lot better than they let on. So I'll turn my ear to someone whose opinion I respect more than the professional handwringers:
Grand Central protesters last week.
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"It is just so awesome to see how the crowds are out there," said Eric Garner's mother, Gwen Carr, who added that she ended up stuck in her car after protests shut down traffic. "I was just so proud of that crowd," Carr said. "It just warmed my heart."
Garner's widow, Esaw Garner, said she saw demonstrators from her apartment window and told her son, "Look at all the love that your father's getting."
Here in Portland, my partner Michael got stuck in traffic Friday because of a
'hands up, don’t shoot' protest march of a few hundred (another 600 marched
Sunday) that included a die-in up on Spring Street, during which several motorists honked their horns out of impatience for having their lives put on hold. Quickly followed in most cases by the words, "Oh…right."
JEERS to the last midterm-election shoe to drop. As predicted, conservative Democratic Senator Mary Landrieu failed to keep her seat in a runoff election Saturday, so the job now goes to a nutty Republican. Landrieu vowed revenge. Political observers are still trying to figure out if she meant against Republicans or Democrats.
JEERS to NAFTA. On December 8, 1993 the North American Free Trade Agreement was signed into law by President Clinton. It eliminates virtually all tariffs and trade restrictions between the U.S., Canada and Mexico. To celebrate, officials will commemorate its 21st anniversary by visiting U.S. manufacturing plants all across the country. And that country, of course, would be Mexico.
CHEERS to flippin' the switch. Last Friday the Obama family lit up the National Christmas Tree. This one here:
They had to put a shield around the part of the tree that faces Congress so the tea party caucus wouldn’t get distracted by yet another shiny object.
JEERS to looney loners. Thirty-four years ago today, on December 8, 1980, John Lennon was gunned down by Mark Chapman. I was 16 and getting ready for school when I heard the news that day (oh boy), and it's hard to fathom that I'm now ten years older than he was (40) when he was killed. Over the weekend Paul McCartney reflected on his reaction to Lennon's murder in an interview:
“I was at home when he died. I got a phone call. It was so horrific. I could not take it in that he was gone. It was a very big shock. I was so sad that I was not going to see him again. And the guy who did it was the jerk of jerks."
What a waste. Lennon said that all you need is love, give peace a chance, war is over if you want it, and imagine all the people living life in peace. I'll go out on a limb here and suggest he was a dreamer. But not the only one.
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Five years ago in C&J: December 8, 2009
CHEERS to healthcare reform! Our fearless Senators spent Monday all hunkered down in their little committees, while Republican gaggles continued to seize microphones and make odd little noises that sound like English words but don’t make any sense. Given that the ground is shifting unpredictably, here are the iron-clad developments based on hardcore facts from yesterday's back-and-forth, give-and-take, shake-and-groove, backroom wheeling and dealing:
The pulp content in the complimentary orange juice was reduced to a level that was acceptable to all 60 members of the Democratic caucus. The Republicans objected.
Today they'll tackle thermostat control. Snowe may join the "warmers." Developing...
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And just one more…
CHEERS to our little bundle of furry joy. More proof of how tempus fugits no matter how hard we fire our retro-fugit boosters: C&J's yellow lab rescue mix Haley is already TWO years old today. We're not sure what she's mixed with, exactly, but we are sure of one thing: she had a rough start in life, starting with the parvovirus that she fought off, the stressful journey from Macon, Georgia to Maine, a sinus infection that relentlessly clogged her nostrils, and some other disease that I've forgotten the name of but she licked that too. Here she is (the white one getting squished at lower right) after the "Fab 14" was dropped off at the shelter in January, 2013:
Although she doesn’t act like it, she's officially out of the puppy stage now, topping out at 50 pounds---the adorable and super-intelligent runt of the litter. Obsessed with tennis balls, runs like a racehorse, officially designated "whap-worthy playmate" by teh kitteh, and the first dog we've had that treats the word "stay" as if it was the 11th commandment. Here's a pic from September, during one of her walks with her buddy Dash:
We're friends with the people who adopted one of her brothers, and we get together a few times a year for a mini-reunion. If joy could be bottled, those two would corner the market on it. Happy birthday, Haley, and many blessings on your squeaky camel toys.
Have a tolerable Monday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
Getting started in a garage isn’t just a Silicon Valley thing. Garages are central to the creation myths of Disney, toy companies Mattel and Wham-O and, of course, Cheers and Jeers.
---The Washington Post
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