Oy! to the world.
Imagine for a moment that you are a retail salesclerk. Er, uh ... sales associate. And imagine that for the past month or two, your bosses have—in addition to jacking your schedule around and paying you lousy wages and finding ways around paying you overtime—required the playing of a tape loop of Christmas carols that has repeated, hour after hour for weeks. Obviously, if you ARE a retail sales associate, no imagining needed.
There appear to be no studies of whether playing Christmas carols boosts the bottom line at this crucial buying time of the year when brick-and-mortar retailers make about 20 percent of their annual sales. Sure, a few carols may raise customer spirits and memories and spur them to buy more than they would have.
But, even for salespeople who are the most avid fans of the season, the 75th rendition of "Jingle Bell Rock" must muck with their mental health. Much less the 750th time. It's surprising U.S. torturers at Gitmo didn't forget all about blasting Metallica at 110 decibels and just play this song night and day.
So, which Christmas carols would make you want to rip off your ears if you were a salesperson? Or, if you are a salesperson, which carols drove you bonkers this year?
• "Jingle Bell Rock"
• "A Holly, Jolly Christmas"
• "Greensleeves"
• "Christmas, Don't Be Late" (Yes, it's Alvin and the Chipmunks.)
• "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer"
• "Little Drummer Boy"
• "Wonderful Christmastime" (by Paul McCartney)
• "Santa Claus Is Coming to Town" (the Bruce Springsteen version)
• "Santa Baby" (the Madonna version)
• "All I Want for Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth"
• "All I Want for Christmas Is You" (by Mariah Carey)
• "Baby, It's Cold Outside"
• "I Saw Momma Kissing Santa Claus"