David McCabe at
The Hill wrote up some funny stuff last Wednesday. Apparently, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) gave an explanation for the wave of
very good economic headlines flooding mainstream and social media these past few weeks. Like the weenie that he is, McConnell spouts:
“After so many years of sluggish growth, we’re finally starting to see some economic data that can provide a glimmer of hope; the 'uptick' appears to 'coincide' with the biggest political change of the Obama Administration’s long tenure in Washington: the 'expectation' of a new Republican Congress.”
The 'expectation?' No fucking way. He did not say that. (
WAY, my friend. Way.)
Normally, I want to hurl my laptop, like a frisbee, across the room every time I think of McConnell being reelected. Or I close my eyes, hold my hands over my ears, and sing, "LaLaLaLa…" when I see him on the news about to speak. But this made me laugh, and apparently it struck the funny bones of two Democrats who opted to take some good cracks at McConnell's ridiculousness.
Mo Elleithee, the Democratic National Committee Communications Director, responded with:
“That Mitch McConnell is one funny guy!"
“He likes to remind people all the time that he’s not a scientist. Now we know he’s not a mathematician or an economist either."
Touché, Mo Ellethee. McCabe also reports White House Senior Adviser Dan Pfeiffer came back with a quote attributed to the basketball player Stacey King. In a historic game where King scored one point to Michael Jordan's 69 points, King said:
“I'll always remember this as the night that Michael Jordan and I combined for 70 points.”
Nice one, Dan Pfeiffer.
Of course, in this game, McConnell and the GOP scored no points. They weren't even on the court these last six years. They were in the restroom wiping nacho cheese stains off each other's ties.
There's really no way Republicans can take credit for things like higher job growth and lower gas prices. Oh, sure, they'll try. But they are merely 'One-Stop-Early-Shirleys,' and they know it. If only all this good news had come out, say, a few months after they came back into session as the 'Party with Majority'. No soup for them, and you know it's eating them up.
It feels good, yes. I need this. I'm going to swim in it. Thanks, McCabe, Elleithee, and Pfeiffer for reminding me we are dealing with bonafide assholes. It's part of life.
Mitch McConnell, you are dismissed. Go to your room.