No one I know calls me William
Or Willie
Or Bill
When I get a letter or call for William
I know
It's the government
Or
The bank
A cruel trick by my parents
Calling me my middle name
But I like it
This early warning system
Ring, ring
Is William there?
No, fuck off.
When will he be back?
He was never here, goodbye
Now, William is alright
For a name
I don't hate it
It was perfect for my uncle
But not for me
I guess
The bank form didn't even have a blank line
For a middle name
Last, First
That's all
IRS and VA,
the same
Didn't even have a blank line for an initial
Irony
So I knew when they came calling for William
And I knew they were both the same after awhile
The bank and the government
And I knew they didn't care
The syllables were just easier to say
Than my number.