For almost two weeks now, presidential candidate Rand Paul has been assuring audiences that something
big will be coming out "in the next couple of weeks" to doom the Hillary Clinton campaign. Oh, he knows what it is. But he's not telling, because that would
ruin the surprise!
"I think there is big news coming on the Clinton Foundation," said Paul. "I think there are things that went on at the Clinton Foundation that are going to shock people. I think they're going to make people question whether she ought to run for president."
"Can you tell us what you're talking about?" asked Cameron.
"Then it wouldn't be a secret, Carl!" said Paul. "It's coming soon."
Ah, the old
I have information which would doom my opponent if it ever got out, but I'm not telling anyone what it is ploy. It's even older than the
I have a secret plan to balance the budget but will only let you know what it is after you elect me pledge, or the
I have a plan to win our current war but—sucks to be you, our American boys overseas—will only be sharing it if I win the White House, otherwise you can all go to hell promise.
Well step up, Rand. There's a lot of people whose careers ride on beating each and every supposed Hillary Clinton "scandal" into the ground, then digging it back up and starting over. They've been analyzing "the Chipotle visit" for days now, their souls withering away with each bored, newsless day—and you're holding out on them?