but not just yet.
As a very few of you know, I was diagnosed with Stage 3 lung cancer in late 2012 and treated with radiation in 2013. The treatment appeared to have beaten the disease into remission, and I was hopeful I'd be around another few years.
Well, it was discovered last month that the cancer has come back with a vengeance, and it's now Stage 4. The consensus of my treating physicians is that I have 4 - 6 months left on this mortal coil.
I've been posting at the GOS since 2005. I'd like to think some of you will miss my commentary here. (I ask those of you who won't miss it to please keep that to yourselves - in the context of this diary, hearing that would be a total bummer.)
So, I'm writing this post this morning to let you all know that I will not have just disappeared from the site for no reason, and I want to make clear, for the record, despite strong differences with many of you about what it will take to get our Democratic party back on track, I greatly value this community. We are a group of people intensely committed to making this country work better for all its residents. We are a group that strives to find ways to share the pie, not hoard it just for our political, religious and sociological BFFs.
Now, please follow me below the metastasized hair follicle for the balance of this diary...
I AM HAPPY! I am shout-it-from-the-rooftop HAPPY!
I live in Washington State. Washington is one of three states that has legalized Physician Assisted Suicide (PAS). The others are Oregon and Vermont. (Montana has "decriminalized" PAS - a distinction I won't belabor here.)
As a resident of Washington, I have the legal right to look Cancer in the face and say, "FUCK you! YOU don't get to dictate the time and manner of my death - I do."
Per the sensible requirements of the PAS law, I'll be discussing my choice with a social worker this week, and I'll be making my first oral request to one of my treating physicians to prescribe "the cocktail." After a mandated two week think-it-over period, I'll be making my second request. With two physicians directly knowledgeable about my case concurring that I have less than six months to live and that I'm mentally competent to make the decision to end my own life, I'll be given the prescription, which I'll ingest on the day of my choosing.
The day of my choosing is Sunday, July 26 - less than two months from today.
During these next three weeks, I'll be undergoing a "coring" procedure to unblock my left bronchus, and 10 radiation treatments to retard the growth of two major tumors. With these treatments I should remain healthy enough to enjoy my July 26 going away party. (I'd better be - the invitations have already gone out.)
Healthy enough to walk in the garden on that (hopefully sunny) day with dozens of friends and family who will have gathered for the party.
Healthy enough to share good food, good beer and good memories.
Healthy enough, at the end of the evening, to bid farewell to my friends, then retire to the bedroom, drink my cocktail and fall asleep in the loving embrace of my sons and their mother.
***
To my fellow kossacks experiencing terminal disease in a PAS state, i invite you to envision what YOUR last day could be. And to those of you living in the other 46, I implore you to advocate and fight for PAS legislation. Death with Dignity should be a universal, fundamental right. No state should have the power to dictate how much suffering you and your loved ones must endure as you approach the end of life.