GUS (Gave Up Smoking) is a community support diary for Kossacks in the midst of quitting smoking. Any supportive comments, suggestions or positive distractions are appreciated. If you are quitting or even just thinking of quitting, please join us! We kindly ask that politics be left outside. You can also click the GUS tag to view all diary posts, or access the GUS Library (the archived version for now). Want to make sure you never miss us? Follow (♥) the GUS tag to keep GUS in your Stream and easily find the link to the latest one. It's just that easy!
A message to ALL quitters (and would-be quitters): You don't have to avoid GUS if you have a failed quit. We won't give you a bad time or nag you. We consider the failed quits as "practice" for the real quit.
Happy New Year, everybody! That's right, a brand new year, and with it comes new resolutions, new projects and plans, new ways of doing things, new efforts to tackle old issues. That's kind of the way it goes for most of us this time of year: "I'll have something new, with a little extra new on the side!"
And you had the best of intentions when you made those plans and resolved to do those things (or stop doing those things), you really did. But a few days (or even a few hours) in, you find yourself in the weeds, wandering around, realizing that thrilling sense of purpose you had just a minute ago has been inexplicably squashed down or drowned out by STUFF: stress, exhaustion, illness, distraction, lack of funds, lack of time, lack of planning...you know...STUFF. It's actually kind of maddening, especially when you realize that you've been in this place before. It's like being trapped in some invisible net or force field, dragging you back, slowing you down, thwarting your efforts.
See, we always forget to factor in all of that STUFF when we're making our shiny new plans. We don't like to think about the ways our plans may inconvenience or frustrate us, make us think or react in new ways. We don't want to dwell on the potential downsides when the lovely upsides seem so inviting. We want to imagine all the ways our new approach to [insert behavior or challenge here] will make our lives better, easier, nicer, more satisfying...perfect. Because that's certainly attainable, right?
So when we get hit by that first chunk of STUFF and find ourselves distracted or stalled, when we fail to meet our new goals or live up to our own (or others') expectations, we're often blindsided by how much it sucks. We're overwhelmed by the impulse to give up and chuck it in the "fuck it" bucket, because honestly, what were we thinking?
Why should this time be any different?
But, see, it can be different. Tackling change and giving yourself a fresh start doesn't have to be an all-or-nothing, perfect-or-ruined proposition. It's okay to aim for less than perfect, to accept incremental change, to take one or two or a dozen small steps if that big leap isn't realistic at the moment.
I had some time off last week and an overly ambitious plan to organize a bunch of stuff, tackle some big chores, get my life in order, and overhaul the way I do things. No biggie, right?
Of course it was a HUGE deal, and way more than I could realistically manage in the time I had free (especially after losing a few days to recuperating from a bad cold, and having an unexpected tech failure that forced some schedule shuffling). As the end of my break loomed, I was frustrated by my lack of progress, wishing I'd done this or that, wanting to ditch any effort that didn't guarantee perfect results.
Then I had myself a little reality check moment, recognized it's okay to aim a little lower than "perfect," maybe ask for some help even. And so I came up with a new, more manageable plan. I didn't get to everything, and I didn't do everything perfectly, not by a long shot, but I am closer to where I wanted to be than I was at this time two weeks ago.
You gotta start somewhere.
The Buddy List
1BQ, 2thanks, 3rdGenFeminist, 417els, A Man Called Gloom, Abra Crabcakeya, Actbriniel, addisnana, AfroPonix, aishmael, Alise, Alpha99, also mom of 5, ambeeeant, American in Kathmandu, amk for obama, andsarahtoo, angry marmot, Anne933, anodnhajo, aoeu, AoT, aquarius2001, arcadesproject, Archie2227, arodb, Arthur Wolf (in memoriam), assyrian64, Aunt Acid, awkawk, b4uknowit, BadKitties, bamablue, BARAKABETH, barnowl, b barrie, bdizz, beatpanda, beefydaddy18, betterdemsonly, BFSkinner, bgblcklab1, BigAlinWashSt, Bike Crash, BirderWitch, BJKay, bleeding heart, blingbling65, blue husky, Blue Intrigue, bluedust, BluejayRN, BlueJessamine, BlueMississippi, Bluerall, bluestatedem84, BoiseBlue, Boston Beans, boudi08, Brahman Colorado, breedlovinit, BrenP, BrianParker14, Bronxist, broths, BrowniesAreGood, bsmechanic, Buckeye Nut Schell, buddabelly, Bugsydarlin, bumbi, BusyinCA, cactusgal, cagernant, Carol in San Antonio, CathiefromCanada, CathodeRay, CDH in Brooklyn, Cedwyn, cee4, Cen Den, 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Laurie Gator, Lava20, Leo in NJ, LiberalVol, lightarty, Limelite, Lipstick Liberal, litoralis, lmdonovan, lockewasright, Lonely Liberal in PA, Lonely Texan, longislandny, Lorinda Pike, LtdEdishn, lunacat, lunachickie, luvsathoroughbred, lying eyes, maggiemay, magicsister, mango, Marc in KS, MargaretPOA, Marjmar, Mark E Andersen (Kodiak54), marknspokane, marsanges, maryabein, Matf, Matt Esler, Maxiemax, maybeeso in michigan, MBNYC, mdemploi, Meteor Blades, Micburke, michael1104, MillieNeon, minerva1157, MinervainNH, Missys Brother, Miz Trom, mjbleo, MnRaindog (in memoriam), mntleo2, mollyd, Morague, MotoGP, Mr Bojangles, mrsgoo, mskitty, msmacgyver, MsWings, Murphoney, nannyboyz, Naturalized Texan, ncsuLAN, NearlyNormal, Nedsdag, Nespolo, Nick Zouroudis, NinetyWt, nokkonwud, NotGeorgeWill, notgivingup, NY brit expat, occupystephanie, oceanview, Ole Texan, OleHippieChick, Olkate, one pissed off democrat, One Pissed Off Liberal, Onomastic, operculum, OrangeMike, Ordvefa, Overseas, Over the Edge, Pager, paige, PaintyKat, paj1, palmer18, paradox, parryander, paulitics, peglyn, Pennsylvanian, Penny GC, peterfallow, phrogge prince, plok, Portia Elm, Positronicus, post rational, PowWowPollock, Proud Mom and Grandma, psycho liberal, ptolemynm, puckmtl, Purple Priestess, PvtJarHead, Qwisp, racheltracks, Radiowalla, randallt, ray bob, real world chick, red mittens, Reepicheep, regis, relentless, revelwoodie, revsue, Rex Manning, rexymeteorite, RiaD (in memoriam), rickeagle, ridemybike, rightiswrong, Rileycat, rincewind, rkex, roadlion, RoCali, Roger Fox, Rosebuddear, roses, rscopes, Rudini, RumsfeldResign, Safina, SallyCat, Sanuk, Sark Svemes, sboucher, scooter in brooklyn, Scrapyard Ape, seenaymah, Senor Unoball, sewaneepat, sfbob, sgary, Shahryar, sheddhead, shesaid, Shifty18, shmuelman, shopkeeper, sidious666, sidnora, slksfca, slowbutsure, smartcookienyc, smeesq, Smoh, snoopydawg, snorwich, SnyperKitty, SoCalHobbit, SoCalSal, sofia, soonergrunt, sostos, sowsearsoup, 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Wed PM: Vacationland (Yo!)
Thu AM: anodnhajo
Thu PM: Open
Fri AM: flumptytail
Fri PM: Open
Sat AM: Open
Sat PM: Open
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Sun PM: Open
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Mon PM: Open
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Tue PM: Open
Wed AM: Open
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